Normal to be angry when newly diagnosed?

[Bamalady]

Yes, I was angry and still am at times. But, I am with Amandalee...I am angry that it took so long to get a diagnosis, that I was treated for symptoms ... Dysautonomia, seizures, blocked arteries, Cluster Headaches but never for Sleep Apnea. I was the one that decided I had Apnea and followed up for a diagnosis. I still wonder what those drugs I was given for about 30 years (and now have been able to discontinue) has done to me, not to mention the Sleep Apnea.

So, yes, I'm still angry at times, even after almost 2 years of treatment with CPAP.

[echo]

The sleep clinic I go to has a psychologist on their staff specialised in sleeping and neurological disorders - it's worth asking your sleep specialist if they have one on their staff (or can recommend one) - if you can find one already in the field of sleep medicine, they will be able to help you work through your frustrations better, and will probably also have a better understanding of depression with and without sleep deprivation. (and if it's for the treatment of a sleep problem, insurance might also cover it - but the guys in the US will have a better idea of how it works there). Just an idea....

I too am angry, angry at not having been diagnosed sooner, and I am also angry at the medical field in general for not recognizing food allergies 20 years ago, the link between the chemicals in our food and environment and cancer, their negligence in recognizing and treating chronic fatigue syndrome , etc etc etc. BUT that's why we self-educate on forums like this... you are doing the right thing being here!

good luck, and don't lose hope!

[sharon1965]

i wasn't angry at being diagnosed, i was so relieved that someone found out what the hell was happening to me...i've been complaining to my docs since i was in my teens and no one ever took me seriously...i've been angry since being diagnosed, feeling like i lost so much time to this and missed out on so many experiences, feeling like i've been in mourning for what could have been...still, i have a full and beautiful life and i take this as a testament to how strong i really am

after everything my poor health has done to me and taken from me, this diagnosis is certainly not going to be the thing that brings me down...it's the only thing that gives me hope

[Guest]

Along the lines of what sharon1965 just said......I wasn't mad at the diagnosis.....I was actually relieved to find out why I was so damned tired all the time.

Actually, I wasn't "mad" until I met my sleep doctor.....what a jerk!

What still makes me mad is the whole "sleep industry" (doctors, insurance providers, equipment manufacturers and DMEs) from all of the stories I've been reading about for over 2 years.
(my own experience was without those problems because I did a lot of research beforehand)
It's ALL about money.....and the patients suffer in various ways because of it.

Den

[tuna]

Only angry for not getting it taken care of earlier.

As for dating, if she doesn't like the me being a hosehead, then....

[Jirel]

I think for many people it IS normal to angry. Sleep Apnea is a type of disability. Its not one that stops you from working once you are being correctly treated but being told you are disabled is a blow to your self esteem, to your picture of yourself. For some people that comes out in anger, for some depression. Some of us have already faced that problem because we are already disabled. We can see it as a straw to grasp that may help us, but I suspect its because of how bad it has already been.

Too many doctors tell their patients they have a major medical problem and that "here's the treatment" and then act like the patient should just calmly go on their way and accept everything. There are a lot of people out there that bought into the idea that they were/are healthy because they exercise or they are young or .... and this is a blow. We should respect these feeling and understand that it can be tough to face this - although I don't always remember that myself, I'm just on everyone else's side tonight.

[drummergirl410]

I didn't notice it before, but I LOVE the Bible verse in your sig! Hold on to that. Let it give you strength! Claim it for yourself. I often find a great source of comfort in the Bible myself. And don't feel bad about being frustrated or angry. Even those with great faith can become frustrated and angry at times. During times when you're going through things like this, you NEED a verse like this to read! I've got a few "comfort verses" I've memorized over the years. It's a great source of encouragment for me. Hang in there and know we're here to support you!

[John_M]

Well I am angry too right now at at having too mess with masks again.

But dating intrigues me, especially with fellow hose head. We could talk about leaks, Lasinoh and ask questions like "How is your AHI?"

You know, if you are getting close to a person, do you need to have a discussion first, masks to the left or masks to the right?

I did intimacy with a tube coming out of my stomach when I was on peritioneal dialysis so wearing a mask out to be a cinch, especially with a person who understands.

Babs, would you be willing to give a list of toys that would be compatible with mask use

John M

[jskinner]

i wasn't angry at being diagnosed, i was so relieved that someone found out what the hell was happening to me...i've been complaining to my docs since i was in my teens and no one ever took me seriously...

I totally understand feeling that way...

[Daddysaur]

I was too sleepy to consider dating before CPAP.... afraid I would doze off during the whispering and miss the big fun. But now with the CPAP allowing me to be awake during the day and night I am ready to try my luck on the dating scene. But alas, my wife still says "No Dating!"
The support and information is here for you, keep the faith, and a sense of humor.

[goose]

I wasn't angry at the diagnosis as much as relieved.
I have so many other "conditions", OSA was just another to add to the list. What I have learned in the meantime is that many of the conditions can be directly attributable to OSA.....
You have come to an excellent place to ask those kinds of question.
And yeah - anger is ok..... Most of us understand!!!
Remember, when you're here, you're among fellow hoseheads!!!!

Hang in there!! Let us know how you're doing!!!!

Take care
cheers
goose

[j.a.taylor]

Jeanie,

Keep the Bible verse. It doesn't conflict with your attitude, as you work through your anger, which is a normal human emotion, it stands as a promise that things will get better--even if now it only feels like a glimmer of hope.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

[Moby]

Keep the Bible verse, it's inspirational, and very in tune with feeling angry about what we have to work through.

I think an important thing to remember is to use the anger in a positive way.

I'll try and explain what I mean.

I was relieved to be diagnosed but angry with myself because I knew I had OSA and had been in denial for years.

I refused to show myself to my husband with the mask in place, and moved into the spare room. The loss of sexuality/the body image issue motivated my first post here. I've been with my husband 28 years, and was too embarrassed to show myself to him in my mask. So I kind of get where you're coming from, but reallise how much worse it must be for you and other new cpap users who are dating.

I used my anger for energy to put myself and my therapy first. I became very single minded about getting the best for myself, and this forum helped a great deal. It provides information and support. As the therapy took effect, I became much stronger, mentally emotionally and physically.

As time went by I began to feel better, more energetic and optimistic, and the body issue thing has faded. I realise that I am probably a lot older than you, so the issue is probably less anyway. But it has faded.

I think the suggestion to talk things through with a psychologist is a good one. I use psychologists a fair amount, I find it helps me move through difficult times more quickly, so I can spend more time being happier.

Believe me, Cpap is the best thing that ever happened!!! Really!

Good luck. Keep us posted.

Di

[sharon1965]

But now with the CPAP allowing me to be awake during the day and night I am ready to try my luck on the dating scene. But alas, my wife still says "No Dating!"

LOL, daddysaur, that is pretty funny

[RosemaryB]

I have a number of other health problems, one of them is gluten sensitivity. I was diagnosed in January 2007. It's a big lifestyle change, Even one crumb of gluten in a meal (actually 20 ppm) can trigger a reaction. It basically means no eating out in restaurants and checking every label of every food you eat. Travel is a real problem, too. (Try getting through security with a cpap and enough food to get you through a day's plane travel, since gluten free food is hard to come by.) I love bread and baked bread for years and it was part of my joy in life to do this.

Gluten is far more than just wheat, it's also barley, spelt, rye. But wheat and barley are used in many food additives as well. In addition, there is cross-contamination likely in most restaurant settings, food processing plants, etc.

Coping with this, I did go through a number of stages like anger and grief. It meant the end of my lifestyle and many pleasures. I now cook all my food myself. A really, really royal pain.

The good news was that some other conditions, potentially quite serious ones that are already somewhat advanced, are likely associated with gluten sensitivity. Many neurological disorders, osteoporosis, and other seemingly unrelated disorders are now being linked to it. (Along with celiac, the only complication that most physicians acknowledge despite growing research to the contrary). As with sleep disorders, the medical profession's response to this is woefully inadequate (and that is being very kind). I've been given bad advice by a number of doctors, despite positive tests for gluten antibodies, and lack of interest by the rest (but one, my allergist who is also GS). In fact, I'd say the "state of the art" with this is worse than with OSA, because of the extent of the use of gluten grains in our world. The rates of gluten sensitivity are very likely much, much higher than any of them are letting on. I could go on for pages, but I won't.

Not exactly OT, though. The good thing with all of this is that I had handled the extensive lifestyle changes and had noticed some improvements in associated disorders. Allergies are greatly improved and frequent migraines are gone. I'm hoping some other inflammatory things are gone, too. The other complications are longer term, but at least more damage is not being done. I decided that all this was worth it, very well worth it.

Luckily, I'd handled many of the lifestyle changes before I was dx'd with OSA. By comparison, the lifestyle changes associated with OSA treatment were a piece of cake (gluten free, of course) compared to the GF changes. Still, at first I thought it somewhat unfair. My whole life taken up with a focus on sleeping and eating (and my full time job, of course).

Another way to look at this is that I'm very, very fortunate to be living in a time when at least a few people know enough about these conditions that they can be treated. Awareness is growing of each every day.

I'm convinced that much of this is the internet. There are stories out there of parents watching their children come close to death and then discovering that the problem is gluten sensitivity and make these difficult changes and see their child recover and begin to flourish. Even if the docs aren't dx'ing it properly, the parents are getting the help they need online and finding the few good docs that can help Since the only treatment for GS is a change in diet, there are no prescriptions involved.

Hang in there, and take it one day at a time. The anger is ok to acknowledge, but know that the larger picture is better, lots better. It gets down to basics: Good sleep, good eating, good life!