Parasomnia, Abnormal Circadian Rythem, REM behavioral dis

[HellzDelight]

Hello. I am trying to find some sort of help or advise. My SO has Parasomnia, Abnormal Circadian Rythem, and REM behavioral disorder. I try to help him get up in the mornings for work but it is difficult because sometimes if I am too aggressive in trying to wake him up, he will hurt himself and if I'm not aggressive enough, he will not actually be awake and I won't know until I have already left. He has tried melatonin and that seemed to have no effect. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[Julie]

Has he had a sleep study? Where did the diagnoses you mentioned come from and when? Is he on Cpap or meds or ??? We'd like to help but need some real info to go by.

[HellzDelight]

He was diagnosed with Parasomnia and the REM disorder when he was a child. He was diagnosed with the abnormal circadian rythem after he had a bad fall and suffered head trauma. He has seen one Dr. in our area and the only thing that Dr. could suggest was to take melatonin, but he will sleep for about 12 to 16 hours when taking it. He will cut off the tv and avoid his phone for a while, anything that will stimulate his brain but just ends up being bored and still can't go to sleep. He hasn't been able to go see a neurologist because his finances are messed up from missing work. I know right now he is stressed out so that isn't helping either.

[Julie]

How much melatonin does he take and is it every night? Usually it's best to use it only occasionally, and at a very low dose (1 to 3 mg), though for some reason some doctors (who notoriously don't understand much about it) prescribe much larger amounts... and things can easily backfire as a result. How old is he now (seeing as you ref'd to the previous trauma)?

I'm not sure what you're looking for here... this is a forum for people on Cpap, and while many have related problems with sleep, insomnia, even night terrors on rare occasions, it's not otherwise a 'sleep' forum as such and we're certainly not doctors, though many are knowledgable about apnea and Cpap. We'd like to help, but I don't even know what you really want from us. It would likely be huge help if you could get him to a neurologist, but you said that can't happen soon... and we really know nothing meaningful about his condition, med history, results of any tests, etc. etc.

I would be very careful however, to not randomly try this idea or that from people on the net (or who have googled who knows what) who like to see themselves in print but again who actually know nothing real about him.

[chunkyfrog]

It breaks my heart when people do not have access to the medical help they need.
In this country yet!
Call me a liberal, but a pandemic could easily decimate us all, because the every "patient zero" cannot afford healthcare.
No sense being quiet about it. Every terror organization already KNOWS this.

[chunkyfrog]

All of our vices, ADDED TOGETHER do not come close to what it costs for decent medical care, healthy nutrition, and a safe place to sleep.
GOP-ricks always blame the victims of our broken system for what they themselves have so joyfully wrought in the name of GREED.
Take some responsibility, you soulless creature!

[Julie]

Save your important tongue for more useful things CF - you're wasting it on closed ears.

[chunkyfrog]

Yeah, The comment was mostly to others who might be tempted to actually swallow his poison.

[kteague]

To the OP, is there any indication at all that your boyfriend could have sleep apnea? If that did happen to be the case, treating it could maybe help some of his other issues. I have a friend whose UARS progressed to sleep apnea. Using CPAP has lessened the intensity and frequency of her REM activity even though it hasn't been a cure. He's got a lot to deal with. Has he pursued whatever subsidized medical care that's available where you live? In the state I used to live in, if one filed for disability, they simultaneously filed for welfare so that while they were waiting for a case determination they could get Medicaid. That's what these fail-safe programs are there for. Sometimes life deals us a bad hand through no fault of our own, and sometimes no decision we make will change the facts of our situation. I remember being on here and getting comments from people who wondered why I was looking for a DIY for CPAP machine filters as they are so inexpensive. At that moment in time, it literally was a choice between filters and food. Some will fortunately never have to gain an understanding of those types of life situations. Good luck in helping your loved one navigate all this. It's a lot.

[HellzDelight]

He was in his 20s when he had the accident and he's now 41. I know this isn't a forum really for this kind of stuff, but this is the only one where I've actually gotten feed back. I'm really hoping for advise (which I've gotten some great feedback I can hopefully work with until he can go back to the dr). I want to help him at least manage and I know it has been hard on him and just have no where else to turn for advise.

[Julie]

It might help to respond to questions asked... how much (and often) melatonin does he take?

[49er]

As an FYI, it generally takes a long time to be approved for disability due to being rejected on the first go around. Still worth a shot, particularly if you can find a good disability lawyer.

This site might be helpful regarding the issue of circadian rhythm disorders.

https://www.circadiansleepdisorders.org/

They also have an email list you can join that is free.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

[robysue]

All of our vices, ADDED TOGETHER do not come close to what it costs for decent medical care, healthy nutrition, and a safe place to sleep.
GOP-ricks always blame the victims of our broken system for what they themselves have so joyfully wrought in the name of GREED.
Take some responsibility, you soulless creature!

Well said chunky. Well said.