Newbie would like to hear success stories, please.

[caffeinatedcfo]

I am 42 years old and was never ever a runner in my life other than high school gym class and sprints for football.

CPAP certainly saved my life (eventually) and my marriage and my career. Not only that, now that my body can heal properly I picked up running and am proud to report that I ran my first 5K last month - and in under 30 minutes.

[sunnyway]

I've been faithfully using my CPAP for three and a half years. It took almost a year for me to see a noticeable improvement in my sleep and alertness. Don't despair if it's taking you a long time, too. It will get better.

I credit the Respironics FitLife total face mask for my successful usage. It has made a huge difference. Without it, I don't think I would have ever adjusted to using a CPAP. I tried and discarded a dozen other masks before settling on the FitLife.

[Outlier]

Perhaps "success story" is a bit premature, as the improvement in my life has freshly begun and is ongoing. I've been on APAP therapy for 11 nights and have averaged over 8 hours of sleep per night with an average AHI of 6. The AHI is still not optimal (I believe the struggle to sleep on my side rather than my back is the wrench in the works), but compared to the AHI of 77.6 during my sleep study, the improvement is drastic. I have felt significantly more refreshed and rested each morning, and my energy levels and overall attitude have been gradually improving with each night of restful sleep. I awoke this morning to a beautiful fall football Saturday here in Knoxville, TN feeling better than I have in years. It's odd, but my senses seem more acute: colors seem brighter, the smells from the grocery deli this morning seemed more, uh, "smellier," and music sounds better (this is huge for me, since I am a musician and have neglected my humongous library of music for years - I just lost the desire to listen). I look around at the mess and clutter of my house and can see the effects my depression has had on my living environment and I want to CLEAN! I feel hopeful towards the future, as opposed to being tired, worn out, cynical, irritable and just plain over it all.

So, yes, if you think you might have sleep apnea, get a sleep study! xPAP therapy will change your life if you let it! I realize now that I was wholly unaware of the effects sleep deprivation was having on my life; they were indeed significant, though often subtle and undetectable. Life is good.

[BobF4]

A success story? You MUST mean me!

I have had my CPAP machine since 3/3/2003. While I have not worn it every night, I have worn it most. I felt better after a month or so, and am feeling MUCH better now. And, I never took my mask off until the spring of 2009, when the pressure setting was too much for me to handle.

I even had gastric bypass surgery on 3/2/2009, and am down well over 150 pounds. I did not eliminate the need for my CPAP, but I have drastically lessened the pressure I need to sleep. I went down from a pressure of 11 to my current pressure of 7.

[cajun]

On the hose for 5 years now. I'm 46, and in good shape/health. The "success" part him home this past Sunday morn. I took my son on a one night camping trip, and decided to go hose-free. No big deal, right? I forgot how bad it could be. I remember waking at least 5 times, and I was a zombie the next day.

I went though two other masks before settling on my current one. Still on the original machine. My doc was of very little use. Software and the great folks here got me through. Also, I've been mouth-taping for 3+ years. Never a problem.

If you're struggling, stick with it.

[Bill44133]

On November 1, I marked my completion of 6 months on therapy. 6 Months ago I could not drive 15 minutes without passing out at the wheel. My AHI at my sleep study was 140 i was diagnosed severe, and the last 30 days my AHI is 1.1.

Friday, I took my Barbara out on Fall Foliage ride to look at the beautiful colors that fall brings us before winter.
I drove almost 5 ½ hours 345 miles one way to Nicholasville, KY. NOT one time did I even feel like falling asleep, wasn’t even tired. We stopped at our favorite BBQ and had dinner and came back home. Six months ago I would not have even attempted such a trip. I have my freedom back!

I am sure if I did not take the step in finding out was wrong with me, and following through with my therapy I would have been dead by now. I was told by my nurse that I would die faster from lack of sleep then lack of food.

I can’t thank the people here on this Website/Forum for the support and knowledge that I have received.
I know I would never have gotten this far without you. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

[robysue]

I'm a long time member of cpaptalk and I've been using CPAP/BiPAP for over three years now. But I've never gotten around to posting a "success story." Probably because my "success" is such a mixed bag of results even now. But still, I thought I ought to share it since I am 100% compliant and when everything is working, I do feel better today than I did pre-CPAP. It's just that all too often the migraines, the tmj, the tension headaches, and the insomni conspire to prevent me from feeling at my best. But that's not really Kaa's fault, now, is it?

At any rate, I was not one of those people who had instant results. Far from it. The short version? The first three months of PAPing was hell for me. I felt about 100 to 1000 times worse on PAP than I did before I started PAP. The next three months of PAPing were purgatory. The downward spiral at least stopped spiraling downward, but things didn't seem to be improving much either. But towards the end of the first six months of PAPing, the phrase Woke up with no hand or foot pain this morning began to appear on a regular basis in my sleep journal. That was the first sign that PAPing was doing something positive for me.


Here's the long version of my story:

Pre-diagnosis: How I was feeling and what my symptoms were (and what they weren't)
In August 2010 I was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea. I was just past my 52nd birthday. (My diagnostic AHI = 23.3, with the bulk of the score being made up of "hypopneas with arousal" scored under the AASM Alternative Standard.)

Prior to my official OSA diagnosis I had no problems with daytime sleepiness. I described the subjective quality of my sleep as "ok, but not good." (It had been genuinely good when I was in my 30s and early 40s.) ln the morning I would wake up with a lot of pain in my hands and feet. On the worst mornings, I'd tell hubby that it felt like I'd slept with my hands and feet in fists all night. The pain had been written off as "minor arthritis" by my PCP, and since it got better as the day progressed, I didn't really spend too much time dwelling on it. I suffered chronic headaches, but I'd suffered from chronic headaches from the time I was a child. My headaches did not resemble the classic OSA headache. Or rather: The OSA part of my chronic headaches was well masked by all the other types of headaches that I suffer from. I did have a lot of daytime fatigue. The fatigue had been ascribed to menopause and not getting enough sleep on a nightly basis: Bedtime was typically around 11 or 11:30, but it would take me 30-45 minutes (sometimes an hour) to get to sleep, and the alarm would go off around 6:30 or 7:00. I'd sleep in on weekends.

Sometime in my late 40s, hubby began noticing that I would stop breathing for "alarmingly long periods of time" in my sleep. He nagged me for a few years to get a sleep test before I finally consented to in August 2010.


Diagnosis and Buying the Machine: How I avoided getting stuck with a brick
I met with the sleep doctor in August 2010 after the diagnostic sleep study and expressed my concerns about CPAP therapy and my desire for a full data machine. The sleep doctor blew me off and told me, "You don't need a full data machine because you'll feel better in two weeks." I went ahead and scheduled the titration study for 8/29/2010.

Shortly after the titration study, the sleep doc's office started calling daily wanting me to authorize them to fax my prescription to the DME next door to their office---a DME that I'd already rejected because they were intending on setting me up with a brick that would record nothing but usage data. It got so bad that I had hubby call them and tell them that if they called me one more time that I would fire the damn doctor and take my business elsewhere or some such thing. That got the doc's harassing phone calls to stop.

Meanwhile I was phoning my insurance company and interviewing DMEs with information that I'd learned from two other CPAP forurms. (I had not discovered this one way back then.) I eventually found a small DME that specialized in CPAP equipment that set all their new customers up with the customer's choice of a Resmed S9 AutoSet or a PR System One Auto (Series 50). I found out they worked with my insurance, and I told them to order the S9 AutoSet, contacted the doc's office to have them fax over the prescription, and set up the appointment to pick up my machine.


Oct-Dec 2010: My first three months of PAPing were Hell
I picked up my S9 AutoSet and started my CPAP adventure on September 23, 2010. My brand new S9 AutSet was set to straight CPAP mode at 9cm of pressure (as per my prescription) with EPR = 3 and a ramp of 45 minutes.

And that first night I had one of the worst night's sleep that I've ever had in my entire life. And it got worse during the first two weeks. By the end of the first two weeks, I was having an incredibly hard time just facing the idea of going to bed each night. And I was starting to delay going to bed as long as possible in hopes that I'd be able to fall asleep quicker with the damn mask on my nose. And it wasn't working.

And I was waking up multiple times during the night with severe aerophagia. As in it felt like I'd swallowed a basketball. It looked like I'd swallowed a basketball too. My stomach was visibly distended and rock hard on many mornings. I was in tears much of the time and highly emotional. I was physically exhausted and emotionally exhausted. I was craving sleep and falling asleep at my desk. I was frightened of falling asleep while driving for the first time in my life and I started relying on my husband to drive me to and from work. (I'm a tenured math professor at a SUNY college.) People at school started asking me what the hell was wrong with me because of the deep dark circles around my eyes and the fact that I was obviously no longer functioning very well in terms of committee work (I resigned as the chair of one department committee that semester) and I could not keep up with my grading that semester. In short, I had become a walking zombie within two weeks of starting CPAP.

And yet as tired and as sleepy as I was during the daytime, as soon as I put the damn mask on at night and turned the machine on, I was instantly woken up with severe discomfort to the point where I simply could not relax enough to fall asleep in a timely fashion. And the longer I lay there with the mask on, the more the sensory stimuli coming from the machine would disturb me and wake me up.

Hubby took things into his own hands and called the sleep doc about two weeks into this ordeal (and about 2 or 3 weeks before my first follow up appointment was scheduled). He insisted that I be seen by somebody and that I be seen by somebody within a day or two. At the meeting with the PA (I never did see the sleep doc again), the PA dutifully listened to all my complaints and concerns and even took the ten page hand written list of them for her files. She then suggested switching me to APAP for a two week autotitration. (and she was surprised to find out that I had an APAP and the DME would only have to change the settings.)

The switch to APAP was with the machine running wide open---as in 4-20 cm with EPR still set to 3. It took the edge off the aerophagia, but did not end it. At least now the stomach was no longer visibly distended every single morning. I was still having severe problems getting to sleep every night and I still dreaded bedtime. At the end of the titration period, hubby and I returned to see the PA. The PA tried to get me to take sleeping pills, but I was unwilling to do so. (There is a family history of addictive behavior and substance abuse.) The PA agreed to switch me permanently to APAP with a 4-8 cm range. And a follow up in late November was scheduled.

Both before and after the post-titration visit with the PA, in October the CPAP-induced bedtime insomnia was growing out of control. But once I'd finally get to sleep, I'd usually manage to stay asleep for several hours. Hubby found it difficult to wake me up in the morning, and so my sleep schedule started to drift further and further out of whack with what it needed to be. I was finding myself unable to get to sleep until after 3 or 4 am much of the time. Hubby was allowing me to sleep until 9 or 10 when my teaching schedule allowed me to sleep that late. But even so, I was falling asleep on my feet at this point as in literally falling asleep in micronaps while teaching math classes. I was still afraid to drive and I was finding it harder and harder to keep up with the grading for the classes I was teaching.

And I have to say it here: In all honesty----if it had not been for cpaptalk, I think I would have lost my sanity during the darkest of those dark, dark days. I wrote at length about my struggles during this time period. And each time I posted I was greeted with sympathy and plenty of suggestions of things to try from people who actually had some vague sense of what I was going through each night in my struggles to make this thing work. I felt utterly alone and whenever I saw the PA in the sleep doc's office I felt as though she had absolutely no comprehension of what she and the doc were asking me to do each night in my bed when I was trying to sleep with this thing pumping air down my gut.

Throughout November, my daytime functioning was still terrible---particularly compared to my pre-CPAP days. I still looked and felt terrible. Aerophagia was still an on going problem, but at least was not at the level of severity of the "basketball in the stomach" it had been in the first two weeks of PAPing. In the November appointment, the PA admitted that she was running out of ideas on what to suggest since my leaks were non-existent. She and the sleep doc finally talked about my case at some point and they decided to recommend a bilevel titration study. The bilevel titration study was scheduled for Tuesday night before Thanksgiving.

That study was interesting to say the least. I thought I slept about 4 hours out of the 7 hour sleep study period. When the data came back, it showed I'd slept for just under 2 hours. WOW. The insomnia was worse that even I thought it was. But (and it is an important but) lying in bed with the bipap blowing air down my throat was much less uncomfortable than lying in my own bed every night with the S9 blowing air down my throat was.

So December was spent researching bi-level machines (the Resmed S9 VPAP was NOT yet on the market and it was unknown when it would become available) and ordering the PR System One BiPAP I now use. And the insomnia continued to grow worse.

But I continued to do serious thinking about the data off that bi-level titration study. I simply could not ignore the implications of the study saying I'd slept 111 minutes when I'd truly thought I'd slept for about four hours. I was finally able to acknowledge that the CPAP-induced insomnia beast was larger than I could conquer on my own.


Jan-March 2011: My next three months of PAPing were Purgatory
On Dec. 31 I and the PA met to review the first week with the BiPAP and also to talk about the insomnia. We jointly designed a largely cognitive behavior therapy for insomnia program designed to rein in the CPAP-induced insomnia. I also agreed to take sleeping pills on an as needed basis to prevent too many sleepless nights from happening in a row.

And so the New Year started with a declaration of war on the Insomnia. The First War on Insomnia was largely waged with sleep restriction, a sleep log, a rigid wake up time, and a bed time that was set as the later of (1:30 am OR "when you first get sleepy").

At the same time, I was also fighting the First War on Migraines. In retrospect it's become clear that some of the extreme sensory overload I felt from the CPAP during Fall 2010 was aggravating my migraines in a serious fashion and there was a serious "positive feedback loop" going on that was adversely affecting things by making my migraines much worse during that time frame.

During the first three months of the First War on Insomnia, my daytime functioning started to stabilize. I wasn't feeling much better than I had been feeling in December. But at least I was no longer feeling any worse. And that was an accomplishment: The downward spiral had finally been stopped and I could finally start to recover.

During January aerophagia continued to be a problem. Another titration study in February 2011 and another pressure adjustment (to my current tight BiPAP Auto range: Max IPAP = 8cm , min EPAP = 4cm) finally took care of the aerophagia problems.

The sleep restriction during the first three months of the War on Insomnia really helped to consolidate my sleep cycles. I began to remember fewer wakes. And more importantly, I began to remember less discomfort during the night at those wakes. And the latency to sleep began to shorten dramatically, which increased my comfort sleeping with the machine even more.

Still, there was a lot of "two steps forward, one step backwards" progress during this time frame. The War on Migraines was being waged with antiepileptic medication and I was finding the side effects intolerable. And as the side effects of each antieplieptic med grew to be intolerable, it halted progress in the War on Insomnia. And when the War on Insomnia was going badly, then sleeping with the CPAP would also become problematic. It was all tied together. *sigh*

But the general trend was in the right direction. And the sleep log was the check on reality. And about 2 months into the War on Insomnia (and 5 months into PAPing) a phrase started to appear in the sleep log now and then: Woke up with no hand and foot pain this morning..

By 3 months into the War on Insomnia and 6 months into PAPing, that phrase was occurring on a regular basis. On more mornings than not, I was writing: Woke up with no hand and foot pain this morning. That was the very first sign that PAP was doing anything positive for me at all.

When I asked the PA about it at the next appointment, she said that her best guess was that the hand and foot pain had been caused by OSA-related inflammation. And that with six months of PAPing, my body had finally managed to heal enough where the inflammation levels had been reduced so the hand and foot pain were no longer present.

My own theory is that inflammation is part of the story. And that part of the story is that the OSA-related arousals were pumping a lot of cortisol and other stress related hormones through my system. And that I actually was sleeping with my hands and feet in fists much of the night---as in my body was preparing to "fight" whatever enemy there was that was threatening it.


April-September 2011: My second six months of PAPing were a slow recovery to normality
During this time frame the War on Insomnia and the War on Migraines continued. Both eventually are "won" in the sense of reining in the monsters (although neither monster is completely defeated.) By June, I wound up switching sleep docs and by the end of the summer I also was engaged in a War on TMJ problems which had been largely ignored for too long and which also had some serious implications in just how badly I was sleeping during my early CPAP adjustment period.

As the Insomnia and the Migraines were brought under control, my mood lightened considerably. My energy levels slowly started to improve, and by my 1 year CPAP anniversary I was actually starting to feel better than I had felt pre-CPAP in terms of daytime functioning. On my best days I was feeling like I'd felt back in my early 40s. On my worst days I was feeling no worse than I'd felt in my late 40s---and much, much better than I'd felt in the hellish days right after starting CPAP.


And now?
It's now November 2013. Things have been up and down since my first CPAP anniversary. It's not the CPAP and it's not the OSA. It's just that I have a number of other chronic conditions that have more affect on my daily life than I want to admit.

Since November 2012, I've been battling a nasty tangle of chronic headaches, tmj problems, and insomnia (again). And, as always, whenever the Insomnia monster raises his ugly head, the aerophagia monster seems to come around again as well.

The discomfort of lying in bed with my mask on waiting for sleep to come is significant. And that's the one thing that I really still miss from my pre-CPAP days: I used to lie in bed daydreaming for hours if I could not get to sleep and it never bothered me. And now I can't because I get a serious stomach ache from the air that gets into my stomach. Or my eyes start to hurt from the air that gets blown into them through my tear ducts. Or the back my throat starts to tickle from the air being blown down it. In order to make this crazy therapy work, I have to fall asleep within about 10-15 minutes of putting my mask on. And that's tough to do without the Ambien on a lot of nights. I really wish I didn't have to take the Ambien.

But still: With BiPAP I wake up with no hand and foot pain on almost every morning. I like the fact that I no longer kick and thrash around the bed as much as I used to. Hubby likes the fact that he no longer wakes up wondering if I'm going to start breathing again.

And when my migraines, tmj pain, and tension headaches are all under control, I feel like I did back in my 40's, and that's a positive. And I know that I can't blame my migraines, tmj pain, and tension headaches on the damn BiPAP machine. Much as I hate the BiPAP's presence in my life (and I do still hate how it crimps my lifestyle), I also like what it does in terms of reducing pain.

[ellen1159]

I am one of those people who did not mask up my first night home with the machine and sleep like a baby. It took me four masks and four months to be able to keep the mask on all night, and another month or so to be able to fall asleep within 15 minutes of going to bed. I was petrified that I would never be able to get used to this very unnatural way of sleeping. My pressures, for one thing, were sky-high due to severe apnea, the masks made me feel claustrophobic, the headgear was uncomfortable. I switched from a full face mask to a nasal mask and a strip of paper first aid tape to keep my mouth closed (chin strap slid all over). I had to do relaxation and breathing exercises to keep my anxiety at bay. The humidification on these machines isn't great and my nasal passages got congested from allergies and the constant wind, I had to experiment with the dosage of my nasal steroid spray and oral OTC allergy meds to be able to breathe through my nose. Have to use a Breathe Right strip when I mask up. But it has been worth it. I notice now, a couple of months after consisten overnight bipap therapy, that I am more alert, well-rested, not needing a nap during the day, not falling asleep at red lights or over my desk, headaches are gone. Blood pressure is down. I'm able to walk several times a week and I'm losing weight (42 lbs. since June).

I was able to manage using this machine because my fear of what might happen to me if I didn't, and my growing health problems and limitations, were greater than my revulsion to the machine. Surgery by itself would have reduced my pressures but not eliminated the need for a CPAP machine. I wanted to lose enough weight so I wouldn't have to use the machine but I had a real fear that something bad would happen before I was able to get the pounds off; besides, it was hard to exercise when I was so tired all the time. Now I have more energy and I'm increasing my stamina and endurance.

my advice for those who think they just can't do this...you can. It takes time, sometimes, and baby steps to adjust. Put the mask on without the machine....put the machine on while you're watching tv, listening to music, or reading. Try a nap with it on. Put it on at night and give yourself an hour before you take it off. Try different masks. Eventually you will be sleeping the whole night with it on, and you will be so glad that you did.

[andy5805]

Hi

I've done it so I'll share a few words. I think I can express the desperation I was in better by posting a link because it was then I first was diagnosed, joined another board, and completely failed. I think this guy, back there, says it better than I can. Running up to 10k a night to offset this defect in breathing, barely able to survive

http://www.apneasupport.org/fear-or-dea ... 29715.html

Since that time, I have come a long way. I got surgery, this was mixed blessing, I feel it was evens in terms of success, it got rid of the tonsils but lowered the uvula. I slept better for all of 5 minutes and then was back in hell. I knew deep down I had to master this therapy or I'd end up in a very bad place

Most importantly I objected to how this illness was stealing my life from me. Making me act as if I was an angry 70 year old man when I still had so much to give. Making every simple task like climbing a mountain. Reducing an intelligent human being to a demented mush of confusion and frailty. The trouble was I KNEW I was once bright, a computer programmer, a whizz with numbers, I also knew now I could barely count to 10, I gained a real insight into how real old people with real dementia must feel - because I knew what it was like to know you had something, and what it was like to end up wishing for ignorance instead. I'd rather not appreciate who I was so I didn't miss it, than realise what I was and see myself now. I felt like I was looking in, and that this lump of barely functioning flesh was once a bright intelligent human being. Of course the net upshot of that was that aside from the sleep deprivation, this made me even angrier, it made me furious that I'd somehow lost all of who I was yet I could still see him in the mirror. Finally heaping onto the anger and the frustration, was this machine I could not master. I knew it had serious options and magical powers to it, but I couldn't even get that right. I was in a world of negativity, and most of the reason for that was that sleep deprivation makes everything look black.

would you put £700 sterling or maybe $1150 dollar on a horse? I'd hope you'd say no, because the risks of losing by far outweigh the risks of winning. So I took a different gamble and I put that amount on a DECENT machine that had data. I knew my psychology would enhance these odds. I have jumpers I wear that I hate just because I bought them so don't want to waste money. Scale that up and realise the thing I am betting on now is life itself, in terms of a meaningful, purposeful ENJOYABLE life, and it's not so much a gamble any more, it is a key investment in a future self

So I got the machine, and kicking and screaming I forced my way into full compliance. I had issues along the way, I still have issues now, but what it does for sleep is absolutely magical. What it does for life is absolutely magical. All my faculties and abilities are back and chomping at the bit to go. All my creativity and skills are back, even stronger than I remember they were, because of course while you are slowly having life robbed, taken away from you, by an invisible malevolent illness, you see it slip away enough for it to cause you anguish, but you often don't have enough lucidity to weigh up just how much is gone on a weekly basis. It's a slow, leech of a disease, it sucks life out of people, it won't send you monthly statements of what it has taken, it'll just cause anger and despair

I was one of those who couldn't comply. Looking (reading) back at him then on the other forum, many people there were saying to me then , what people say to new starters here now. That's because the advice is the same every single time. The only thing that changes is our ability to hear the message. The message does not change. The message is work on compliance and one day you will be on here typing your story. it's not an easy road by any means but the alternative is an infinitely harder road.

I want to encourage everyone who can't that they can. Simply because I was so negative and so sleep deprived that I was the biggest I can't in the history of people who doubt themselves. Part of that negativity and belief that I could not succeed, was because I was so run down and steeped in the fog of sleep deprivation, that I was not thinking straight or positively enough to make that commitment. Think about that for a second, an illness so nasty it plays with your mind as well as your body. Now that I'm not sleep deprived, I can see that in fact this is very logical - an illness that makes everything harder, surely makes thinking harder, and the ability to comply, harder.

This really is snakes and ladders. Your ladder is to the new level of sleep that your own body cannot provide. The snake is the illness, the defeat and the doubt.

for people who think I'm getting too philosophical here, to bring it into sharp focus again there was many a physical barrier. I couldn't take dry non humid air, I couldn't take CPAP, I ended up on BiPap. I couldn't take a full face mask, I still to this day have problems with nasal pillow masks. I use all sorts of condiments mostly that would otherwise belong in a mother's handbag to make that face take that mask. But the point I'm making is I'm victorious. I knew by a week or two in that I'd won and then the thing snowballed. I had one week where sleep on the mask was phenomenal and after that I said to myself (and to sleep apnea) now I have this, a memory ammunition and proof that this works, so no matter what happens now, I have actually experienced something that worked and I will make it work again! No amount of doubt snoring or nights of 2 hours sleep is able to erase that memory. Now I know it is out there, now I know it exists, I am going after it and I am going to get it. It was at this point I was so happy, even when sleep deprived again as I completed the adjustment to therapy because it was then I knew it was out there. A memory formed. Nobody could wipe that memory. Pressure therapy can work, so all the lies and self doubt are in their place. You have to have that moment , because when you do you see everything differently, you have it confirmed to you that the thing you thought couldn't work, does. It's a life changing moment.

Good luck to all on this journey, few journeys are more worthwhile and life changing.

Andy

[Sparky lulu]

So, I'm a really real newbie but I've been reading a lot of the posts here and....
I gotta say, I've never considered my own mortality as much as in the last few days when I first got my Quattro FF mask.
Now, I've had 2 heart attacks, both in my early 30s.
I've been in about 2 motor scooter accidents, one major car accident, I have T2 diabetes, and I'm 6 months away from the same age as my father when he died and the young age of 49.
I've never felt indestructible like a teenager, but I've never really felt close to death.
Until I started CPAP.
I can't sleep.
I put the mask on and just lay there.
The first night I was consumed with the feeling of suffocation. So, I ripped it off my face so I could turn over to my stomach, discarded my CPAP MAX pillow and grabbed that old standby that has to be folded in half to get the right density and level of comfort and went to sleep. I got about 3 hours that night.
The next was better. I learned how to change the temp of the air. Down from the coffin rendering 5 to 3. And I decided to "ramp".
The claustrophobia was gone!
But, I just lay there, awake, for 3 solid hours. Until about 2 in the morning when I decided the only thing I could do was eat something high in carbs so my body would pass out from the sugar.
Which is like taking a sedative, I know, increasing the odds of death or stroke. (But, I never thought about those things before the dark days of CPAP)
Again, I got no sleep.
The third day I decided, having a day off from anything to do, to lay in bed, watch movies, read and use guided meditation, all while wearing the mask.
That was great!
I got it!
It was comfortable.
And the meditation was the key. It was the first time I ever did anything like that.
I knew, I just knew that day three would be the best.
I would use the guided meditation and that would get me through. Babbling brooks and soothing voices taking me down the road to slumber.
And I just laid there.
Awake.
2 more hours.
At 4 in the morning I awoke for my middle of the night bladder extravaganza and I tried again.
This time, I again tried the guided meditation, but now there was something new!
I was transported. No longer was I just a 40-something man trying to save his life so he could see his toddler grow up. No! Instead, the combination of the mask, the gentle whirr of the machine, the new age sounds and the calm voice that accompanies it presented me with the image of hospital beds.
I knew what I would look like when I finally get that terminal illness that renders me helpless in hospice.
Oh, joy!
My discomfort has been replaced with thoughts of death.
For a few moments I wondered if I could convince a Kervorkian type to assist me in ending everything. After all, if apnea is going to kill me in my sleep without my consent, I would prefer to make that choice on my own.
Wiped that thought away.
Had to do something else.
Fired up some boring podcasts, and I mean really boring, and......
just laid there.
Awake.
from 4 til, well, just a few minutes ago.

This is torture.

When does this get better?
I had my sleep study in August and the levels all seem to be what right on target for what the doc wants.
I use sleepmapper with bluetooth to read the data on the machine. The mask is fitting perfectly. The ahi is a lie because I never fell asleep. (My sleep apnea number is 50, btw)
Seriously, though, when does this get better? Is there something I'm missing?

I just want to sleep.

Thanks for listening.

[sleepinow]

At above

Why not make an actual topic rather then post in a success story

[Jeannh]

Did the insomnia monster only rear its ugly head with CPAP inception, or has it been around a while?

[Sparky lulu]

The insomnia began with the mask.
I did have a mild success the other night. I actually fell asleep with the mask on. It was quite the process, however.
I had to drop the temp to 0. And use a guided meditation program to get me to that place. Worked twice in a row, so I'm very buoyed by that.
Trouble now is that I only sleep for about 2-3 hours with it and then wake up, take the mask off and go back to sleep. I remember doing it but don't have a lot of control over not doing it. Hopefully that will come.
I do use an app to monitor my movements and even when I am sleeping with the mask on for those 3 hours, I'm still moving around. A LOT. No deep sleep.
I've been a reading a bit on these boards and elsewhere. I'm sure I will get the hang of it.
Thanks.

[jelopez777]

I wish I could say using CPAP was a success for me because like others I did invest in this machine, but it caused too many sore throat problems for me that I had to stop. I first discovered I would rather use a neck brace but later I have stopped using it in favor of a much better alternative. I just discovered that using a dental appliance or oral appliance e.g. SnoreRx is much better. At first I did not want to even consider this because a colleague told me it causes salivating. It was only when I tried it for myself that I discovered he was wrong. Yes, initially it does but after a few days of trying it out, your mouth gets used to it and you won't salivate anymore. I discovered if you do not sleep on your side there won't be any salivating. At the "3 setting" I hardly snore and definitely there is no more sleep apnea. I dream and feel so much better during the day. I hope people who read this spread the word to at least try this alternative.

[justminick423]

Only been using for just over a month. I have been "ridiculously compliant" according to the company that monitors my usage. I sleep just about every night without taking it off at all - for 8 or more hours. Some nights less. But just about always 4 or more. I feel less depressed - I've been on depression meds for years ( I'm in my mid 20's ) but still felt like I was dragging. My concentration is not much better - do have ADHD and on meds. My weight has gone up a couple pounds but I suspect from Christmas and thanksgiving. My alertness is much better. Not likely to nap even though I used to. Less cranky. Looking forward to reassessing a year from now.