Venting...inconsiderate husband

tonimari98 · Post by **tonimari98** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:32 am

I am just so furious today at the fact that my husband as absolutely no respect for me and my getting well. Last night I made it a point to not have a sugary foods or caffinated drinks after 5pm. the idea was so that I could have a good nights sleep with out being woken up.

I thought that maybe that would help me stay asleep. So I put my 2 babies to bed, helped my 8 yr old with his homework, did the dishes tidied up the livingroom. took a soothing bath. Got in bed at 9:30 at abot 9:40 he comes in puts the TV on and his light on...I was like OMG. but I dealt with it... I was snoozing by 10:00

At 10:43 (I Looked at the clock) I hear my jerk turn the baby monitor full blast becuase a baby was crying he left it that loud for about a minute, I did not move...acted like I was still spleeping, he then pulls the covers up off the bed a grumbles something and goes upstairs. Please be aware that he was awake and watching TV. shortly after I start to fall back to sleep once again I hear the baby monitor turn up full blast...once again he grumbles something and goes upstairs...as he grumbles what the hell is her problem!! woken up yet again. and let's repeat that one more time...ready for the clincher? he comes back to the bedroom picks up the baby monitor plays with the channels and say hmmm...it's not Miranda it's another baby, from the new neighbors 2 doors down. I was wide awake and livid.

How inconsiderate is that? so any way panick attack comes over to play and I contemplate getting in my car and leaving...really! but I decide on an telling him off, and demanding some respect and consideration take a Xanex and and Ambien and am back to sleep in 20 minutes. I want him to understand how inmportant Sleep is to me right now Or would it be easier if I just gag him and stuff him in my hope chest? I'll make him fit.

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:52 am

I don't understand the problem. I mean, when I'm wide awake and doing nothing important, that doesn't mean I should be disturbed when a parenting issue comes up. That's CLEARLY my wife's duty, even if she's in bed with a 103 degree fever, after having been up all day cleaning the house and cooking my dinner.

(No, I'm not serious, in case anyone doesn't know me yet. )

I found your comment about "panic attack" interesting. Does anyone else find that if/when they wake up in the middle of the night, they're just REALLY grumpy?

I find myself frustrated and furious when I'm having a bad night. I don't know why. I'll sit up, because I can't sleep, and I want to throw the mask (or better yet, the whole machine!) across the room, and if my wife mumbles "What's wrong, dear", I explode at her. "I can't F***ing sleep, that's what's wrong."

I don't know why. I can't seem to control it. Fortunately, she knows this, and doesn't take anything I say when I'm half awake to heart. But I don't quite understand why some part of me loses all perspective on reality.

Liam, who just realized he HAS no perspective on reality. So what exactly is he losing at 3am?

chrisp · Post by **chrisp** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:07 pm

You are in the worst of all worlds now. You have 3 children. Thats stressfull enough on a marriage. Now you also have sleep apnea. You've had it for some time. Everyone is stressed and for good reason. Throw in the technical problem with your baby monitor picking up the neighbors kid and you have to wonder. Why am I here, Why is this happening to me. Its not fair. I'm sorry. What else can I say. Yes your hubby could be a bit more understanding. However, sleep apnea affects everyone around you. They take up the slack. They take our abuse when we are really tired and say things we don't remember saying.
Get some rest when you can and remember the things that you have. The good things. In times like these we all need a break. Your husband as well.

I'm sure he didn't wake up thinking he was going to be an ass today. Who would have thought the baby monitor was hearing the neighbors kid.

Stick with it. Talk to someone who can help. Go to church . You'll get through this.

Cheers.

Chris

tonimari98 · Post by **tonimari98** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:08 pm

I found your comment about "panic attack" interesting. Does anyone else find that if/when they wake up in the middle of the night, they're just REALLY grumpy?

I find myself frustrated and f
urious when I'm having a bad night. I don't know why. I'll sit up, because I can't sleep, and I want to throw the mask (or better yet, the whole machine!) across the room, and if my wife mumbles "What's wrong, dear", I explode at her. "I can't F***ing sleep, that's what's wrong."

Honestly I almost flung my machine across the room or at least the mask as I ripped it off my face...I don't really know what stoped me, in truth there must of been just an inkling of sanity left in me. I tend to get upset when I wake up at night but not furious...except when I am woken up that just P*sses me off. So should I gag him and stuff him in the hope chest??[/quote]

Nenetx2004 · Post by **Nenetx2004** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:33 pm

I like the idea of gagging him and stuffing him in the hope chest!

I don't suppose there's an empty bed anywhere in your house. I'm guessing no with three children. If you did, you could set up your machine in there for a few nights. My EX-HUSBAND used to come in a turn the television on when I was asleep (this was pre-CPAP). I kept thinking, "You know, a pillow over his face, he only struggles for a few minutes and then you can sleep in peace." But I realized that a jail sentence wasn't what I wanted......

Of course, my boyfriend wouldn't dare wake me up......I have a 2nd degree black belt in tae kwon do!

Jeanne, who's boyfriend really isn't scared of her.....

Oh my God! Liam has such a strong influence on this board!!!

Liam1965 · Post by **Liam1965** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:41 pm

Nenetx2004 wrote:My EX-HUSBAND used to come in a turn the television on when I was asleep (this was pre-CPAP). I kept thinking, "You know, a pillow over his face, he only struggles for a few minutes and then you can sleep in peace." But I realized that a jail sentence wasn't what I wanted......

Yeah, my ex-wife was the same way, only with her, it was being on the computer all night long. Tappety tappety click clack tap tap of the keyboard is one of the MOST frustrating sounds on a night when insomnia rears it's ugly head.

(That is not, however, the reason why she's my ex. She's my ex because, well, could you live with someone who was a control freak? Who got mad at you any time you didn't do things their way? Who expected you to do 90% of the housework? Well, neither could she.)

Nenetx2004 wrote:Oh my God! Liam has such a strong influence on this board!!!

Not really, it's just gravity. I'm WAY heavier than I look.

Liam, pound for pound, worth his weight in discarded CPAP masks and old hoses.

mommaw · Post by **mommaw** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:51 pm

I agree, find a seperate bedroom even if you have to move the kids together. Dealing with apnea and the frustrating equipment is almost more than a sane person can handle. It will drive you insane. I also get very angry at night when I wake up with air leaks, etc. I am almost in a RAGE and have a hard time calming down. I actually have jerked my mask off and threw it as far as the hose would let me. And I am in a seperate bedroom with only myself to deal with! It will get better over time though, I actually slept for 10 hours last night with the mask on.

Gilda, who has no one liners

tonimari98 · Post by **tonimari98** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Ok...So gagging him and stuffing him in the hope chest is my ONLY OPTION. I can plea mental illness...Lack of sleep drove me to insanity...at the most I'll get a padded room, all to my self and definately some sleep! Wow this is sounding like a real possible solution.

chrisp · Post by **chrisp** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:12 pm

Yea but do you want your kids to visit you there. "HUMOR ALERT" All drugged up looking like a zombie.

Just give it a "HUMOR ALERT" rest ..LOL..(sorry) . Things will work out.

Chris

tonimari98 · Post by **tonimari98** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:46 pm

chrisp wrote:Yea but do you want yoour kids to visit you there. All drugged up looking like a zombie.

Just give it a rest (sorry) . Things will work out.

Chris

Honey I am Just Joking...Humor has aways carried me through, and although I was so angry this morning I am no longer near that mad. And seriously if I put him in the hope chest he would be so mad once I set him free. Sorry if my humor offended or rubbed thee the wrong way...consider it "put to rest".

Maria, who is so happy that lack of sleep has not yet deprived her of a sense of humor.

loonlvr · Post by **loonlvr** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:57 pm

Whatever you do with this thoughtless fellow, remember, theres CSI watching

chrisp · Post by **chrisp** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:59 pm

That was my humor also. guess I'll preface my humor with "HUMOR ALERT " so you'll know when to laugh.

Chris

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:14 pm

Hi,
You must be carefull what you say on this site. if your husband were to disappear they already have motive to lock you up. LOL

tonimari98 · Post by **tonimari98** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:32 pm

chrisp wrote:That was my humor also. guess I'll preface my humor with "HUMOR ALERT " so you'll know when to laugh.

Chris

Haa Haa...That would be helpful = )

so just so I have this straight this following comment was funny?
"Just give it a rest (sorry) . Things will work out. "

that is funnyy!!!

tonimari98 · Post by **tonimari98** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:36 pm

loonlvr wrote:Whatever you do with this thoughtless fellow, remember, theres CSI watching

He's begged for forgivness and I've accepted.
(that's my story and I am sticking to it)

He's normally a really good guy I guess he's a bit stressed too...I have been just as pleasent as can be for the past 2 1/2 years.

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