Feel like a failure already!

General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
User avatar
mzdawn74
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:22 pm

Feel like a failure already!

Post by mzdawn74 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:48 am

Hi,

So, last night was my first night with my cpap machine, and I feel like I am not going to be able to do this. I already have issues with sleep. On an average night I get about 3-4 hours of sleep with having frequent wakings. This of course has left me sleep deprived, totally cognitively impaired, and having no energy what so ever. Last night I think I got maybe 2 hours of actual sleep with a total of 6 1/2 hours on the machine. I just couldn't handle the feeling of the air blowing in my nose, it made me feel like I was unable to take a deep breath. Is this feeling something that I am going to get used to? Will my sleep time and quality improve as well?

I am at my breaking point. This is really the only option that I have left to help me get back to being able to function again and be cognitively intact. If this doesn't work I don't know what else there is to do. Please help me...

User avatar
kaiasgram
Posts: 3568
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:08 pm
Location: Northern California

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by kaiasgram » Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:51 am

Dawn, give yourself a break -- it was your first night. I'm sure the sleep deprivation is affecting your level of hope right now.

I can't remember -- did you spend some awake time on the machine to try getting desensitized to the feeling of it? That has helped a lot of people including me.

Was the main issue being unable to fall asleep, or was it that you kept waking up? Or both?

What are your pressure settings? And are you using an exhale relief feature?

_________________
Machine: AirSense 10 AutoSet with Heated Humidifer + Aifit N30i Nasal Mask Bundle
Mask: Aloha Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear
Additional Comments: SleepyHead-now-OSCAR software on Mac OSX Ventura

User avatar
mzdawn74
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:22 pm

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by mzdawn74 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:17 pm

kaiasgram wrote:Dawn, give yourself a break -- it was your first night. I'm sure the sleep deprivation is affecting your level of hope right now.

I can't remember -- did you spend some awake time on the machine to try getting desensitized to the feeling of it? That has helped a lot of people including me.

Was the main issue being unable to fall asleep, or was it that you kept waking up? Or both?

What are your pressure settings? And are you using an exhale relief feature?
I used the ramp for 45 minutes to try and get acclimated. It was both being able to fall asleep and then staying asleep.
My starting ramp pressure is 4cm and my constant pressure is 8cm. I am unsure what an exhale relief feature is.

JDS74
Posts: 3397
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:57 pm
Location: South Carolina

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by JDS74 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:25 pm

Dawn,

All of us from time to time as we began this journey have had difficulties adjusting to this new think clamped on our faces and try to blow us up like a balloon.

It will get better, The advice to try using your CPAP while awake so that you get more used to the feel of it while not trying simultaneously trying to go to sleep is good advice.

Find a quiet place and just put your mask on, turn the machine on, and just breathe with the machine. Pretty soon, you'll get used to the pressure and not be so disturbed by it.

Some other things to take note of:
Getting used to this new therapy means developing a new and important habit.
That habit is "I'm in bed, I'm masked up, and I am going to sleep."
To get there, don't read in bed, no TV, no other stimulating things. Just mask up, machine on, and going to sleep.
It will be hard at first but it will get better.

If you wake up in the night and feel that you can't go back to sleep after about 20 minutes or so, then turn off the machine, take the mask off, and get up and go to a different room. Read quietly or watch some boring TV program in that room. After a while, you'll begin to feel sleepy again. When that happens, go back to bed, mask up, machine on, and go back to sleep. DO NOT EVER just take off the mask and turn off the machine and go back to sleep. That defeats developing the new and very important habit you need for this to succeed.

Other things to think about to see if they apply to you.

No stimulants after dinner time like caffeinated drinks, alcohol, spicy food, etc.

Being tired is not being sleepy. Until this therapy is working well for you, there will be tiredness. That's not the same as being sleepy. You can be really exhausted and not sleepy at all. I imagine lots of your time is spent in that mode.

Try to get a regular go to bed time. Whatever works for you, pick a time and try to go to bed if you are sleepy near that time. Otherwise, do boring stuff until you are sleepy and then go to bed. A fixed bed time that has you going to bed not sleepy at all also interferes with the new habit. The goal is to develop a more regular schedule of when you get sleepy (not tired) and get that regulated to about the same time each night. If 10:00 PM is your time, then the habit will get you used to being sleepy about that time and the habit will get you to sleep when you get to bed and mask up.

Hang in there, it will get better. There are lots of folks here who will help so keep asking questions.

_________________
Mask: Oracle HC452 Oral CPAP Mask
Humidifier: DreamStation Heated Humidifier
Additional Comments: EverFlo Q 3.0 Liters O2 PR DSX900 ASV
Oracle 452 Lessons Learned Updated
DSX900 AutoSV with HC150 extra humidifier and Hibernite heated hose
Settings: EPAP Min-10.0, EPAP Max-17, PS Min-3, PS Max-10, Max Pressure-20, Rate-Auto, Biflex-1.
Sleepyhead and Encore Pro 2.21.

yaconsult
Posts: 1099
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:43 pm
Location: "Silicon Valley", CA

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by yaconsult » Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:27 pm

Hi Dawn,

Many people feel the way that you do when they first started - it's nothing to worry about.

A suggestion that has helped many is to use the machine while doing some other activity and awake - like watching tv or using the computer. The goal is just to get used to the mask and the airflow. It may sound crazy, but it works.

You probably do not want to use the ramp when you do this - just turn it on without ramp. If you get used to it, you won't need to use the ramp at night either.

Although it can seem strange and impossible at first, that will quickly pass if you stick with it.

_________________
Mask: AirFit™ P10 Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear
Additional Comments: January 2015 Sleep Study Results: Apnea/Hypopnea Index (AHI): 80.2, Sleepyhead

User avatar
ChicagoGranny
Posts: 14409
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:43 pm
Location: USA

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by ChicagoGranny » Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:34 pm

JDS74 wrote:Find a quiet place and just put your mask on, turn the machine on, and just breathe with the machine. Pretty soon, you'll get used to the pressure and not be so disturbed by it.

Some other things to take note of:
Getting used to this new therapy means developing a new and important habit.
That habit is "I'm in bed, I'm masked up, and I am going to sleep."
To get there, don't read in bed, no TV, no other stimulating things. Just mask up, machine on, and going to sleep.
It will be hard at first but it will get better.
Good advice for Dawn.

You need to think of things to distract your mind from breathing. You breathe all day long and only rarely think about it. Your mind and body know what to do without you thinking about it.

What worked for me was to think of being on a beautiful beach in a warm breeze in a comfortable reclining chair under an umbrella - very relaxing and got my mind off breathing.
mzdawn74 wrote:I just couldn't handle the feeling of the air blowing in my nose, it made me feel like I was unable to take a deep breath. ... my constant pressure is 8cm
My pressure runs from 10 cm to 14 cm and I am small and old. But I have gotten so used to sleeping with CPAP, I can hardly tell it is pumping air. You can do the same with some time and persistence.

Good luck.
Last edited by ChicagoGranny on Tue Jun 30, 2015 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
mzdawn74
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:22 pm

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by mzdawn74 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:43 pm

JDS74 wrote:Dawn,

All of us from time to time as we began this journey have had difficulties adjusting to this new think clamped on our faces and try to blow us up like a balloon.

It will get better, The advice to try using your CPAP while awake so that you get more used to the feel of it while not trying simultaneously trying to go to sleep is good advice.

Find a quiet place and just put your mask on, turn the machine on, and just breathe with the machine. Pretty soon, you'll get used to the pressure and not be so disturbed by it.

Some other things to take note of:
Getting used to this new therapy means developing a new and important habit.
That habit is "I'm in bed, I'm masked up, and I am going to sleep."
To get there, don't read in bed, no TV, no other stimulating things. Just mask up, machine on, and going to sleep.
It will be hard at first but it will get better.

If you wake up in the night and feel that you can't go back to sleep after about 20 minutes or so, then turn off the machine, take the mask off, and get up and go to a different room. Read quietly or watch some boring TV program in that room. After a while, you'll begin to feel sleepy again. When that happens, go back to bed, mask up, machine on, and go back to sleep. DO NOT EVER just take off the mask and turn off the machine and go back to sleep. That defeats developing the new and very important habit you need for this to succeed.

Other things to think about to see if they apply to you.

No stimulants after dinner time like caffeinated drinks, alcohol, spicy food, etc.

Being tired is not being sleepy. Until this therapy is working well for you, there will be tiredness. That's not the same as being sleepy. You can be really exhausted and not sleepy at all. I imagine lots of your time is spent in that mode.

Try to get a regular go to bed time. Whatever works for you, pick a time and try to go to bed if you are sleepy near that time. Otherwise, do boring stuff until you are sleepy and then go to bed. A fixed bed time that has you going to bed not sleepy at all also interferes with the new habit. The goal is to develop a more regular schedule of when you get sleepy (not tired) and get that regulated to about the same time each night. If 10:00 PM is your time, then the habit will get you used to being sleepy about that time and the habit will get you to sleep when you get to bed and mask up.

Hang in there, it will get better. There are lots of folks here who will help so keep asking questions.
Thank you for all of the suggestions. I hope it does get better. I've been going through this now for almost 4 years, I'm worn out!!

I was so relieved when I was diagnosed with OSA that there was an actual medical condition that explained all of the symptoms I had, and now there was relief and treatment in sight. But to have my first night go as miserably as it did only reinforced that feeling of I am never going to get better.

What is happening to me is real and is seriously affecting all aspects of my life. I just want to get on the road to recovery. But how will I get on that road if I can't sleep or use the machine?

User avatar
mzdawn74
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:22 pm

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by mzdawn74 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:45 pm

yaconsult wrote:Hi Dawn,

Many people feel the way that you do when they first started - it's nothing to worry about.

A suggestion that has helped many is to use the machine while doing some other activity and awake - like watching tv or using the computer. The goal is just to get used to the mask and the airflow. It may sound crazy, but it works.

You probably do not want to use the ramp when you do this - just turn it on without ramp. If you get used to it, you won't need to use the ramp at night either.

Although it can seem strange and impossible at first, that will quickly pass if you stick with it.
Thank you for your advice and support.

User avatar
kaiasgram
Posts: 3568
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:08 pm
Location: Northern California

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by kaiasgram » Tue Jun 30, 2015 1:14 pm

mzdawn74 wrote:I am unsure what an exhale relief feature is.
It's the EPR feature. You can access it in the clinical menu. This feature reduces the pressure when you exhale by 1, 2 or 3 cms pressure. So 3 would be maximum exhale relief. If EPR is currently set to "Off," turn it on and while awake try out the different EPR settings to see how it feels.

The awake time with the mask is really important because only then are you not only not trying to fall asleep, you're not even hoping to. The psychology of daytime practice is different from trying to get used to it when you're already in bed, and it is often the key to adjusting to this whole crazy-ass therapy.

_________________
Machine: AirSense 10 AutoSet with Heated Humidifer + Aifit N30i Nasal Mask Bundle
Mask: Aloha Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear
Additional Comments: SleepyHead-now-OSCAR software on Mac OSX Ventura

User avatar
mzdawn74
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:22 pm

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by mzdawn74 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 1:27 pm

kaiasgram wrote:
mzdawn74 wrote:I am unsure what an exhale relief feature is.
It's the EPR feature. You can access it in the clinical menu. This feature reduces the pressure when you exhale by 1, 2 or 3 cms pressure. So 3 would be maximum exhale relief. If EPR is currently set to "Off," turn it on and while awake try out the different EPR settings to see how it feels.

The awake time with the mask is really important because only then are you not only not trying to fall asleep, you're not even hoping to. The psychology of daytime practice is different from trying to get used to it when you're already in bed, and it is often the key to adjusting to this whole crazy-ass therapy.
Ok, so I accessed the clinical menu and the EPR is on and set to 3. Should I leave in on 3? Should I turn the ramp off? I will try today with having the mask on while watching tv.

User avatar
Bobray95
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2015 4:38 pm
Location: Pensacola, FL

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by Bobray95 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 1:40 pm

I have only been on CPAP for a week so I know some of the feelings you are having. I can say that every night it has gotten easier on me. I don't use RAMP and I'm on a fixed pressure of 13. When I first put on my mask and turn the machine on it's kind of like standing in a wind storm. It takes a bit to get into a rhythm of breathing. Once I get into that rhythm I can't really tell I have the machine on. In fact I have a couple of times pulled my mask away from my face to see if it was working. I wish I could tell you that I had this great burst of energy but I can't. I can tell you that each day gets easier and each day I feel better. Hang in there and listen to the people on this forum. They are helpful and will also encourage you to get your life back. Good Luck!

_________________
Machine: ResMed AirSense™ 10 AutoSet™ CPAP Machine with HumidAir™ Heated Humidifier
Mask: AirFit™ F10 Full Face Mask with Headgear
Additional Comments: Also use Fisher Pakal Series 431 FFM

User avatar
mzdawn74
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri May 22, 2015 1:22 pm

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by mzdawn74 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 1:56 pm

Bobray95 wrote:I have only been on CPAP for a week so I know some of the feelings you are having. I can say that every night it has gotten easier on me. I don't use RAMP and I'm on a fixed pressure of 13. When I first put on my mask and turn the machine on it's kind of like standing in a wind storm. It takes a bit to get into a rhythm of breathing. Once I get into that rhythm I can't really tell I have the machine on. In fact I have a couple of times pulled my mask away from my face to see if it was working. I wish I could tell you that I had this great burst of energy but I can't. I can tell you that each day gets easier and each day I feel better. Hang in there and listen to the people on this forum. They are helpful and will also encourage you to get your life back. Good Luck!


Thank you and good luck to you as well.

User avatar
kaiasgram
Posts: 3568
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:08 pm
Location: Northern California

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by kaiasgram » Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:11 pm

mzdawn74 wrote: EPR is on and set to 3. Should I leave in on 3? Should I turn the ramp off?
Dawn, I have an idea for you to try for your awake practice:

Turn off Ramp and turn off EPR. Then set your pressure to 4 and put on your mask and turn the machine on. See how it feels. If you're like most of us, you will feel like 4 is not enough air coming in. If it feels OK, then just sit with it for a bit. If it feels like not enough air, then increase it to 4.5.

Sit with each .5cm increase until you start to feel more relaxed/comfortable breathing with it, and gradually increase up to your prescribed pressure of 8. You may not get all the way up to 8 today, or even tomorrow, and that's ok. Go to a pressure where you're reasonably comfortable today. Sleep with the machine at that pressure tonight. Tomorrow do some more awake practice and try the .5cm increases again. You may not be sleeping with your prescribed pressure for a few nights, but some pressure is better than none, and if it helps you with the adjustment then it's worth it.

The reason I'm suggesting turning off Ramp and EPR -- Ramp is irrelevant to this approach since you're starting with the lowest possible pressure. EPR is also irrelevant because the pressure can't drop any lower than 4. Once you can easily tolerate your prescribed pressure, you can experiment with Ramp and EPR again if you want to.

_________________
Machine: AirSense 10 AutoSet with Heated Humidifer + Aifit N30i Nasal Mask Bundle
Mask: Aloha Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear
Additional Comments: SleepyHead-now-OSCAR software on Mac OSX Ventura

tedburnsIII
Posts: 354
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2015 4:49 pm
Location: San Diego

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by tedburnsIII » Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:12 pm

Bobray95 wrote:I have only been on CPAP for a week so I know some of the feelings you are having. I can say that every night it has gotten easier on me. I don't use RAMP and I'm on a fixed pressure of 13. When I first put on my mask and turn the machine on it's kind of like standing in a wind storm. It takes a bit to get into a rhythm of breathing. Once I get into that rhythm I can't really tell I have the machine on. In fact I have a couple of times pulled my mask away from my face to see if it was working. I wish I could tell you that I had this great burst of energy but I can't. I can tell you that each day gets easier and each day I feel better. Hang in there and listen to the people on this forum. They are helpful and will also encourage you to get your life back. Good Luck!
Commendable! That is a relatively high pressure for a newbie, and to adapt to it so quickly and without RAMP is, well...commendable!
Machine - https://www.cpap.com/productpage/resmart ... ducts.html
Setting: APAP, 10.5-14cm
Software: Proprietary
Mask- PR Wisp nasal (large); ResMed FX Nasal (wide);
Oximeter: CMS50D+

User avatar
Enchanter
Posts: 715
Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Feel like a failure already!

Post by Enchanter » Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:14 pm

I'm new too and frustrated, confused. Want to get better.
My Current Therapies
- CPAP + Humidifier
- Allergy Shots + nose Spray + Hepa Air Purifier
- Cardiovascular Exercise + Stretching