Help!! - Newly Diagnosed - Suicidal

munsterlander · Post by **munsterlander** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:18 pm

Dear Guest,
I certainly am glad you are doing better. I would strongly suggest you research and consider taking a supplement of Coq10. I only say this from experience with extreem fatigue. Even after CPAP, I was extreemly lathargic (hope I spelled that right). After researching alternatives for high cholesterol, I discovered a link between high cholesterol, fatigue and a lack of Coq10 which is suppressed by taking statin drugs. It also leads to depression. If you are taking a statin drug, please consider taking a supplement Coq10 at 100-200 mg. Since I am not a doctor, please consider this a recommendation based only on my experience.

Gregg · Post by **Gregg** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:27 pm

I want to post a reply. I am not even sure I have apnea yet.

But I am male and 50. I've been at the pinnacle of health all of my life. Then about six years ago I started getting hangovers. So I stopped drinking. I still had the hangovers! God damnit!

I am also depressed. But I consider mine to be related to the state of affairs of the world.

Furthermore, I feel very good most of the time. But, two days in several months or maybe sometimes even a string of days, I have these hangovers.

I have never been suicidal. However, the last couple of months I have wanted to end it all. This agony of feeling sick. And the depression that comes with it.

Now I am beginning to think I have apnea, and have had it a long time. I'm preparing to do something about it.

So you are not alone. I honestly think the co2 concentrations and oxygen deprivation have been responsible for even my low level depression.

Don't let it get to you!

The way I am looking at this now is to spend the money, get the study done, and end up with some kind of relief. Even though I think the causes of apnea are very simple, whatever remedy it takes to stave it off is worth it.

Hang in here, and we can both see each other's progress as we enter into our apnea studies.

Ashamed To Register · Post by **Ashamed To Register** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:38 am

It will soon be a year since my first post and my cpap therapy started. I am doing much better but still I am far from being mentally healthy.

The desire to commit suicide has very much diminished. Still the future for me does not look optimistic as I am not functioning well in society.

I am only able to work part time and I expect to lose this position soon. My mind is no longer sharp and my peers are beginning to complain about my lapses in memory and ocassional confusion. Twice I was a spelling bee winner as a youth but now I am making many spelling mistakes and written communication is a critical part of my job. A friend who is an English teacher has volunteered to review some things with me especially use of commas.

I just want to say thank you for participating in this site. Your words in this post and others have helped keep me alive the last year. I especially appreciate that many of you shared your experience with psychiatric drugs, psychiatrists and analysts. Many of you had similiar bad experiences to mine, because no one ever considered that maybe sleep apnea was causing 95% of our problems.

I will see the sleep doctor again soon and am looking for some more advice/help from him.

Thank you and thanks to the site owners.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:36 am

Always take sleep deprivation seriously.
Several years ago I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and was implanted with 88 Paladium 125 seeds. My prostate had to be shrunk before the implant procedure, surgeon started me on hormone shots. Waking up with hot flashes (all the symtoms of hormanal imbalance). I had the gun on the desk, when I came to my senses and called my dr. He sent his nurse to get me, diagnosed me with sleep depravation and put me on an anti depressant until after the procedure, This was at about the same time that it was discovered that I had Apnea. Dr said that the Apnea was probably also part of the cause of the sleep depravation.
Get into your dr and tell him about all these problems, HE CAN PROBABLY HELP YOU!!

tangents · Post by **tangents** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:55 pm

I agree with Oceanpearl, speak to your doctor about your situation. I'm glad that you're still around. I am new to the CPAP-world, as I joined this past March.

Take care, and I hope things get better for you.

Cathy

neverbetter · Post by **neverbetter** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:07 pm

Glad your still around and feeling a little better !

lvwildcat · Post by **lvwildcat** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:11 pm

Ashamed-I am so glad that you have a friend who cares so much about you that you were introduced to this site. I can only tell you my own experience. Looking back(in hindsight)before CPAP I was a raving;raging BITCH!!! I don't know how or why my husband and kids put up with me! Literally since starting CPAP in late 2005 I am a much nicer person;am more tolerable of things and the mood swings are nonexistent. Maybe in your case(like mine) sleep apnea explains a lot of your current behavior. Tell your doctor that you're still not 100%-maybe you need another titration study and some pressure adjustment

_________________

CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): CPAP

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 3:24 pm

Please allow me to suggest a technique that has helped me:

I write a list of questions and symptoms, plus anything that I think the doctor should note. Then I type them on my computer (usually) so that I have a record saved in my Medical File.

In this manner, my sometimes forgetful brain does not keep me from receiving adequate treatment.

I also have a medical history and a current list of prescription and over the counter medications. The meds list includes my allergies and emergency numbers for specialists that may be needed.

Best to you--I hope this is of some use to someone here.

Karen

Patrick A · Post by **Patrick A** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:51 pm

[quote="johnnygoodman"]Greetings,

I'd like to echo the "everyone has a different path to getting it working" thought that others have had. We've had people come through cpaptalk that hook it up the first night, get the "CPAP high" from being rested again and go on their way skipping down our digital road. We've had people who have had to go through three CPAPs and ten masks before they get it right for them.

Here's what is important:

1. This is your life. You can make it better if you can get the therapy working for you. There are 5000 odd people on the board who are living breathing proof that if you stick with it, good things happen.

2. It may start out and be hard but it is not impossible. The results will come in time. The people you are speaking with have been where you are - they hang around after they get their CPAP rigs working to help people like yourself. You are where you need to be and we're glad to have you!

3. CPAP is not the answer to all of lifes problems but it can give you a good nights sleep, more energy and a general feeling that "I can do it". I do see a lot of people who after six months on CPAP say things like "wow, I have patience now and it is improving the relationship with my family". That kind of stuff is possible.

I know all of that is a little emotional, but I'm pretty serious about this stuff. We have a lot of people on this board who are the same way.

Johnny

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:20 pm

So glad to hear you've made progress since we last heard from you. It's interesting that you feel your cpap therapy is 75% effective, and that you are still having cognitive problems. Let's expect that there is improvement yet to come.

I had severe cognitive impairment, and it affected my job performance. I am still working to improve the effectiveness of my cpap treatment, and my mind has cleared significantly. I am hopeful it will continue to improve as I get increasingly more mask time.

Please continue to keep us informed of your progress. Wishing you continued recovery and more successes in regaining your life.

Kathy

socknitster · Post by **socknitster** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:30 pm

Dear Ashamed,

Don't be! I was misdiagnosed with everything from general anxiety disorder to major depression. I was beginning to have unexplainable physical problems--muscle and joint pain. I was irritable, irrational at times and above all, always tired and sleepy. I had a psych tell my my need for sleep was all in my head when I asked for a sleep study.

Then one day my gp said, maybe you have sleep apnea. I was diagnosed with severe osa a few weeks later. I've only been on the hose for a few weeks but I feel better--so much better that I HAD to decrease my antidepressants because I was getting jittery. I'm in the process of weaning off of them now.

There is hope for you--believe me! I've been suffering from this since my early 20's. I'm almost 35 now and for the first time in a long, long time feel vibrant and energetic and like doing things.

It will get better. I was very discouraged with my treatment at first, but trying different masks and persevering is paying off. I'm almost 100% compliant now. Good luck and register--you have nothing to be ashamed of!

Jen

John_M · Post by **John_M** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 10:03 pm

Well I tried a suicide attempt some years ago. To me, the worst feeling in the world is to wake up and realize that I am incapable of even doing suicide properly.

Been hospitalized for depression (so called) three times.

But what I have learned is that the depressive state is an illusion.
I think that there is nothing worth living for. But inevitably the depression goes away and I start living life fully again and enjoying life again.

So I now realize that the idea that nothing will ever happen nice again in my life is an illusion. The trouble is that it is a very convincing illusion so I have to work real hard to remember that it is an illusion.

Since I got on CPAP, my doctor has reduced my psychiatric meds to a half of what they used to be. Very Interesting. Maybe I will reach a stage where CPAP will have "cured" my bipolar. Don't know yet, just wondering.

Glad you are feeling better.

One of my tricks is to try to enjoy having a depression. People pay vast sums of money to lie on a beach and do nothing. I think of how much money I save by not buying an airline ticket to Hawaii and just staying in my room and doing nothing just the same way the people on the beaches in Hawaii are doing

John M

SisterShotgun · Post by **SisterShotgun** » Sat Jun 23, 2007 9:33 pm

I first started having trouble sleeping more than 12 years ago, I told my doctor about my dreams of drowning and he suggested a therapist. Okay therapist put me on antidepressants, didn't work, then they tried a stimulant to help keep me awake..Made things worse, then they decided to try an anti-anxiety medication, didn't work, then they tried Lithium, didn't work. 12 years of this and then a few weeks ago I went to a new doctor on the Naval base close to where I live. The flight surgeon suggested a sleep study. Three days after the sleep study I was told I have severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea Finally!! Last night was my first night on the CPAP and I can say that I feel so much better today than I have in years.

What I forgot to add is that while on the antidepressants I had a mild stroke I forget what things are, for example I will try to ask my son to get me something out of the fridge and say oven instead

Rapunzel111 · Post by **Rapunzel111** » Sun Jun 24, 2007 1:29 am

Dear Ashamed To Register-

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself! You are a blessing to other people and you might not even realize it!It is not as bad as you think,Honey.I am a 38 year old woman with severe obstructive sleep apnea,and trust me when I say it is not the end of the world.I too get depressed and suicidal and have been this way throughout my whole life,but I have never sought treatment for it.

Having Sleep Apnea and being on CPAP is not that bad at all.It is only a minor inconvenience at first and soon you'll be used to using the machine and may actually look forward to it as I now do.You just gotta be patient as it does take a little time adjusting.I am now grateful that I found out I have OSA and am treating it.My quality of life has gone up dramatically since I now get better sleep.Before I had the sleep study and found out I have OSA I thought I was dying.I feel a lot better now.I get depressed a lot less now than I used to, too.My severe headaches went away also.

I always say that I am happy that out of all the diseases God could have picked for me to get that I got this one intead of the other ones I could have ended up with.Think about what the people that have terminal cancer,AIDS,MS Insulin Dependant Diabetes and Epiliepsy go through.
Our disease is not that big of a deal.If you don't treat it,then it becomes a big deal because untreated sleep apnea raises your blood sugar levels,and sets you up for diabetes,and your blood pressure rises which can also cause hypertension,heart disease and strokes.

Just keep your chin up,Dear,and know that God loves you and wants you here on Earth .You are a special person and you are precious.There are a lot of wonderful people on this board who will help and support you on your journey.We all care about you so let your heart be light.You couldn't have found a better board for emotional support.You are among friends here.Don't be too embarrased to register,as we welcome you with open arms.

Love-
Rapunzel111

Help!! - Newly Diagnosed - Suicidal

Great to hear from you again

About suicide

For Ashamed to Register

Mask

Additional Comments: Machine:Resmed S7 Elite; Oracle Mask(YES! My DREAM mask!!)