OT: Need prayers

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chunkyfrog
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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by chunkyfrog » Thu Mar 26, 2015 8:11 pm

If you do not take care of yourself, who will lift your burden when you can not?

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by palerider » Thu Mar 26, 2015 9:08 pm

chunkyfrog wrote:If you do not take care of yourself, who will lift your burden when you can not?[/quote
in the event of an in flight emergency, oxygen masks will drop down from the overhead compartment, put your mask on first and then assist others with theirs.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by chunkyfrog » Fri Mar 27, 2015 6:12 am

Silly devil. Frogs only fly when caught up in a game of lacrosse!

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by BleepingBeauty » Fri Mar 27, 2015 6:43 am

Lena, I'm really sorry to read all of this. You've got an overflowing plate these days, and now you're sick, too. Yeesh.

I can very much relate to your situation, although mine is not so dire or difficult; Dad's diagnosis recently changed from Dementia to Alzheimer's, and he's well aware of the deterioration that's happening to his mind. He's not become violent or abusive yet, but I'm trying to prepare for that; most of my friends who have had a parent go down this road eventually got to that violence/aggression stage of the disease. Mom's still dealing with residual pain from Shingles and can't do much for herself yet. I've been with them for about eight weeks now, and it's exhausting, being everything for everyone. I admire your ability to keep going after all the time you've been there, shouldering so much and taking care of everyone else.

I'm in a similar situation as you regarding any time-out for myself, in that I came across the country to care for my folks, and I have no friends here to hang out with (even if I had the time or opportunity to do it). I stay sane via long-distance phone calls and/or internet connection, but it's not the same as getting a real hug via the arms of a loving friend. It's sure better than nothing, though.

My Dad's been home from the hospital since 11/11, and we were told just last week (finally) that he and Mom will be getting some services through a local senior center (meal prep, respite, and an aide for about an hour three times a week to help Dad shower and get dressed). So I'm hoping that, once those services kick in (especially the respite care), I can at least take my mother out for lunch, a movie, shopping, or just for a coffee break, without either of us having to worry that Dad's home alone.

The house starts to feel like a prison, but I keep reminding myself that Dad's in his own prison (inside his head) from which there's no possibility of escape. I, at least, can see down the road to a time when I'll have my life back again. And you will, too. I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better, but I don't; I can only encourage you to hang in there (and hope I can do the same). Do take advantage of the respite (as I plan to here) and do something you enjoy. I'll bet there's a knitting group nearby that you can join (or even just sit in with them occasionally). Perhaps you can volunteer a little time at a local school's art department? You definitely need some down-time, and stimulating your creativity would be a great way to spend it.

I'll be thinking of you and sending all good wishes.
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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by carbonman » Fri Mar 27, 2015 7:33 am

BlackSpinner wrote:But it is so hard when I seem to be the only fully "functioning" adult in the house.
BS, all things in your life have prepared you for this time.
Down deep is the strength and courage to move forward.
Sometimes it is minute by minute.
That strength and courage will be presented to you,
exactly when you need it and you will shine.

...and through these times, there are better days ahead.
The days when you will reflect on these days and wonder how you did it.

It is there.
You will find it.
Trust and believe.
Blessings.
"If your therapy is improving your health but you're not doing anything
to see or feel those changes, you'll never know what you're capable of."
I said that.

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Tracy1968
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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by Tracy1968 » Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:52 pm

BlackSpinner, you are definitely in my prayers.
Starlette wrote: 2012 was such a dark year for me. It was a year mostly dedicated to my parents:
Helping them move 50 years of stuff (a lot of stuff there was)
At the same time, Dad was in and out of facilities due to his own stuff.
Lastly, living with them for 6 weeks taking care of both of them.
^ This is essentially what I'm about to enter into in a few months, despite my own shaky health. Two elderly parents, mother who broke her pelvis two months ago and being released from rehab and my Dad refuses to put her into any kind of nursing care despite her health declining rapidly. So I'm uprooting my life and moving 250 miles to go live with them, help take care of them, help them clear out their house, etc. My three siblings who all live within 15 minutes of my parents do nothing -- except one overly-dramatic sister who has a Chicken Little complex and always manages to make things worse instead of just pulling it together and helping).

The past month of me still trying to recover has been daily calls to me from social workers, physical therapists and hospital staff, financial aid agencies, family members, my distraught father, you name it. And again, trying to handle all this from far away with a foggy head and exhaustion, heart issues, etc. Some days I feel like I'm trying to juggle chainsaws.

I know what it's like to feel like the only sane person in the asylum. And I hear ya -- sometimes you don't know if your physical symptoms are physical symptoms or the stress from everything else seeming like physical symptoms. Hard to deal with even when your'e feeling well. But when you're trying to heal your body it's even worse. So sending up prayers for you for physical and emotional strength and well-being and continued improvement.

By the way, a lot of the responses on here for the OP have helped me as well. You can't build a house on a shaky foundation. Noted.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by BlackSpinner » Fri Mar 27, 2015 6:00 pm

Tracy1968 wrote: ^ This is essentially what I'm about to enter into in a few months, despite my own shaky health. Two elderly parents, mother who broke her pelvis two months ago and being released from rehab and my Dad refuses to put her into any kind of nursing care despite her health declining rapidly. So I'm uprooting my life and moving 250 miles to go live with them, help take care of them, help them clear out their house, etc.

By the way, a lot of the responses on here for the OP have helped me as well. You can't build a house on a shaky foundation. Noted.
I am glad you found it helpful.
My biggest challenge was figuring out what questions to ask when I first started. It is still a challenge. I didn't know there were stores that sold all those strange items like bent spoons and plates with suction cups and high sides....
There is probably a care giver support organization in the area - I just found it here because I didn't know I needed it. Get in touch with them to find out what all your resources are. Ask ask ask for help. Ask now before you are drowning.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by 49er » Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:55 am

I have no advice to offer but wanted to offer hugs to BS, Tracey, Starlette and anyone else who has been in the position of having to care for elderly parents. I can't begin to understand what you are going through but will say my heart goes out to you big time.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by BlackSpinner » Mon Apr 06, 2015 11:54 am

We are now in palliative mode.
Mom took a dramatic turn for the worse this weekend.

We had the palliative care nurse here for a while this morning and she will be back when the new drugs are delivered to "put in port" and show us how to give them.

Mom stopped eating and drinking Sunday and is breathing very oddly.

It doesn't look like my sister will be here in time - Friday - to say goodbye.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by Luthie2006 » Mon Apr 06, 2015 12:00 pm

Again, I am very sorry too BlackSpinner. I am in a similar situation with my Mom in a nursing home with severe Alzheimer's and a father who lingered last April, a year ago. My heart goes out to you. Please take care of yourself too.

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carbonman
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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by carbonman » Mon Apr 06, 2015 12:55 pm

I know your pain.
I feel your pain.

Keep your head up.
Your love and dedication,
strength and courage are
incredible.
"If your therapy is improving your health but you're not doing anything
to see or feel those changes, you'll never know what you're capable of."
I said that.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by BlackSpinner » Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:01 pm

carbonman wrote:I know your pain.
I feel your pain.

Keep your head up.
Your love and dedication,
strength and courage are
incredible.
This would be so much easier if I hadn't come down with a cold/flu yesterday.

It is hard to "save the world" when your head is stuffed and you are coughing.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by postitnote » Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:44 pm

BlackSpinner wrote:We are now in palliative mode.
Mom took a dramatic turn for the worse this weekend.

We had the palliative care nurse here for a while this morning and she will be back when the new drugs are delivered to "put in port" and show us how to give them.

Mom stopped eating and drinking Sunday and is breathing very oddly.

It doesn't look like my sister will be here in time - Friday - to say goodbye.
All you can do is be there now. Not sure what you believe but your mom will be in a better place when the time comes Take care of you too!
Morbius, are you bored?

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by kteague » Mon Apr 06, 2015 2:37 pm

Thinking of you. Such difficult times. Got nothing profound or wise to add, just wanted you to know that your sacrifices in this situation are recognized and admired. Hang in there sounds so inadequate, but sometimes it's a viable survival technique. Sorry to hear about your mom.

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Re: OT: Need prayers

Post by chunkyfrog » Mon Apr 06, 2015 3:43 pm

Sending my own cyber-hug.
Wish it could be real.
Shared tears have less sting.

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