Post
by RogueWarrior » Fri Oct 31, 2014 11:10 am
Wow, a lot of awesome replies. Thanks for the support and advice, guys. Sorry it took me a day or so to get back to this post, life can be kind of hectic. A few things to kind of cover some of your questions:
1. I'm a woman, not that it matters too much, but I realize the name can be a bit misleading.
2. As far as weight loss/surgery options, I've tried Weight Watchers multiple times, but the meetings aren't all that useful to me, and I can get the same benefit from free apps like LoseIt as I can from their eTools, without having to pay for it. I've considered surgery in the past (and believe me, I have people in my life pushing for it or who believe it's inevitable that I get it), but my problem with surgery (for me personally, no judgements on anyone who chooses to get it for their own health) is two-prong. First of all, when I attempt to stick to something and lose weight through diet/exercise, I'm fairly successful at it (at least in the past), making the surgery unnecessary. Second, my personality and attitude towards weight loss at this time makes me a poor candidate for surgery, because I know how to cheat the surgery if I want, and if I get stressed out and choose to emotionally eat, I tend to snack throughout the day, which means the surgery won't be very effective for me. My problems would most likely be resolved by seeing a nutritionalist (although I'm not sure that's necessary either, I KNOW how to cut carbs, protein to carb ratios, that sort of thing), and a therapist to help me deal with some of my unresolved resentment issues that I can't seem to get over myself. I do NOT suffer from depression, or from anxiety, so I'm not on any sort of psych meds. But I have been a heavy girl most of my life, I don't remember or have a comparison for what it feels like to not be drastically overweight, and I resent having to give up what feels like more important/interesting parts of my life in order to dedicate the amount of time that it takes to make the drastic lifestyle changes necessary to lose. I have a bit of an OCD/perfectionism streak, especially in response to problem-solving, but that all-or-nothing approach doesn't work with lifestyle changes. I've tried, believe me. I start with the best of intentions, I track what I'm eating, I do well for a couple weeks. Then I hit a bad day, don't track for several days, get frustrated that I failed - AGAIN - and end up just dropping it. I've heard all the answers - try small steps, make small changes instead, don't give up, if you have a bad day just start over the next day and keep at it. Your health is more important than anything. The time it takes now is worth the time you'll gain, and the health benefits in the long run. I *KNOW* all that, but at the same time I just want to give it all a big middle finger. I hate it, I hate that I've been big since I was young, I hate that being prone to being large runs in my family, I hate that I have to put the kind of effort into it that smaller people never even have to think about, I hate that I have to sacrifice time with my friends, my family, my interests in order to make these changes. I hate that I hate all those things, I wish I could just jump on the healthy living bandwagon and get excited about it like so many other people seem to do. So yeah, I have a lot of emotional issues tied up around my need for weight loss, and all the surgery in the world isn't going to help me with that. And if I can get that sorted out, I likely won't have any need for the surgery. That, in my opinion, is why so many surgeries fail - they address the weight and the initial eating habits, but they don't deal with emotional baggage associated with weighing three or four hundred pounds.
So there, there's my weight loss rant, LOL. Also, I do NOT have Type-2 (sugar) diabetes. Until this last year my glucose numbers have always been good, and while my primary care physician did express some concern that my last three-month numbers looked a little high, I am trying to manage that by cutting down on my carb intake to return my numbers to normal levels. My doctor suggested/prescribed Metformin, but I haven't started taking it yet because I would prefer to bring my blood sugar down through dietary changes, without becoming dependent on medicine. I also have hypothyroidism, but am aware of it and manage it with medication.
3. My job is a bit slow paced at times, but I'm not really sure what to pursue other than what I'm in that would give me the kind of financial stability I would need. I'm in furniture and mattress sales, and there are times when it's just slower, no matter where you work. If I were to switch to a much faster-paced sales environment, I'm afraid I would have other sorts of difficulties, being unable to be on my feet for that long a period of time. I know busy holidays, when we're much faster paced, are a bit rough for me because as the day goes on my feet start to hurt, I get physically exhausted, I get cranky and frustrated. And that makes it hard to sell to people. I think I need to BE in better shape before I can keep up with that kind of a job, so it's a bit of a catch twenty-two. And as much as I'd like to start my own design company, I don't have the capitol for that right now or the financial safety-net. And those are all long-term issues that can't be dealt with in the here-and-now.
4. I have not been tested for narcolepsy, but I don't seem to suffer from any of the other symptoms, like sudden loss of muscle tone or sleep paralysis or anything like that. My symptoms are much more in line with OSA, so I'd never really given it that much thought.
5. 49er, thanks for the awesome link. I'll have to browse through it.
6. Yes, if the situation gets really desperate I have access to a sleep machine, though I have no idea what kind it is or how to set it. The sleep study people told me they wouldn't set an old machine even if I had it, they won't take the liability.
7. My assumption regarding my sleep apnea was based on my father's experience, who has a very similar build and situation. His sleep apnea seemed to be weight related, and as he lost weight his need for a machine went away. I realize that may not be the case for sure, but it seems likely in my situation.
8. My doctor told me that based on new regulations (not sure if it's related to the Affordable Care Act, but that was the impression that I got), people have to be evaluated for sleep apnea if they haven't had a test in the last... six months? Year? Something like that. So since my last sleep study was nearly six years ago, he said he couldn't do anything with it. But thank you for the link to the 1800cpap.com for home tests, I might pursue that route if I have to as well.