I hate CPAP.

newhosehead · Post by **newhosehead** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 6:52 am

Really, folks? Really?????

RocketGirl · Post by **RocketGirl** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:41 am

Yes, unfortunately, really.

There are some wonderful, amazingly helpful folks on this board, but there are also some who just love to pile onto anyone who expresses a negative opinion about xpap. They claim that they do it as "tough love." but what it really is is bitterness and hate. They invoke the label "whiner" as an excuse to dump. They give no quarter to people who are having trouble acclimating to xpap, and they ignore the fact that anger is a necessary part of the process of acclimating for many people. They have chased away any number of people who might have infused the board with new perspectives, had they had the ears to listen.

They make themselves hard to ignore because they'll insert themselves into any thread to dispense their sarcasm. I've even seen them chase someone from thread to thread.

If you can ignore them, there's a lot of good here. But engaging them does no good.

squid13 · Post by **squid13** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:51 am

RocketGirl wrote:Yes, unfortunately, really.

There are some wonderful, amazingly helpful folks on this board, but there are also some who just love to pile onto anyone who expresses a negative opinion about xpap. They claim that they do it as "tough love." but what it really is is bitterness and hate. They invoke the label "whiner" as an excuse to dump. They give no quarter to people who are having trouble acclimating to xpap, and they ignore the fact that anger is a necessary part of the process of acclimating for many people. They have chased away any number of people who might have infused the board with new perspectives, had they had the ears to listen.

They make themselves hard to ignore because they'll insert themselves into any thread to dispense their sarcasm. I've even seen them chase someone from thread to thread.

If you can ignore them, there's a lot of good here. But engaging them does no good.

Well spoken RocketGirl, I know of one who has left that I enjoyed his post and that was Gazhacks from Scotland.

Madalot · Post by **Madalot** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:56 am

RocketGirl wrote: They give no quarter to people who are having trouble acclimating to xpap,

DynoDad wrote:I've had CPAP for about 5 months, and I definitely feel the benefits (took 2-3 months). Less tired, fewer headaches, so I'd say it was relatively successful.

If the OP were having trouble acclimating, I would agree you. But he's not. He's doing GREAT on it, able to use it (with a couple of issues) and feels the benefit of it.

My first post tried to be supportive, acknowledging that I DO understand how he feels, but also make him realize that others have it much worse and for the grace of whatever deity he may believe in, he's better off than a lot of people. He should be thankful. That was totally ignored (not even acknowledged) and that tells me the OP isn't interested trying to accept what is or cope -- he's more interested in bitching about it.

And I have a lot of trouble dealing with that, considering how much worse off I am. If the OP had to spend an hour in my life (I'd say shoes but I can't wear shoes anymore because my feel swell), he'd be kissing the ground in thanks that all he has to worry about is xpap.

So yeah -- it IS tough love. One acknowledgement to me about how he IS so much better off would have made me totally supportive and tried to help him move forward.

SleepingUgly · Post by **SleepingUgly** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:13 am

If no one were allowed to complain unless they were the worst one off, there'd be only one person on the planet complaining. There is always someone who is worse off in some way or many ways. "Downward comparison" can be a helpful coping technique, if a person wants to adjust their attitude.

I don't think the so-called "tough love" dispensed freely on this board is particularly helpful, except perhaps in very tiny doses, after and along with empathy and validation, and only to someone who needs to take action. It doesn't sound like the OP is swallowing in self-pity, and his disdain for CPAP hasn't stopped him from using it effectively. He seemed to merely be voicing his dislike of having to use it. We ALL have felt that way and NO ONE here would opt to sleep with a mask if they could sleep well without one. To argue otherwise seems ridiculous.

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:29 am

DynoDad wrote: My body works fine. I have no self-esteem issues. I am not now nor ever have been in therapy. I have a happy marriage. I have a good life. I wasn't neglected as a child, nor was I bullied at or excluded at school. My CPAP equipment is all new and works as well as it can. I love the fact that CPAP exists.

But I still hate CPAP, because it's an unpleasant experience and a poor technological solution to a problem. Can you really not understand this?

If your body worked fine you wouldn't need cpap, would you?

Madalot · Post by **Madalot** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:30 am

SleepingUgly wrote:"Downward comparison" can be a helpful coping technique, if a person wants to adjust their attitude.

BINGO. And unless the OP wants to adjust his attitude, bitching and complaining, then getting angry when people make points that COULD help him adjust, says he doesn't want to adjust his attitude.

The people here have worked very hard to accept the not so pleasant aspects of xpap and don't feel that coddling someone is the best way to go. There's too much coddling in the world as it is.

I can think of half a dozen people from this forum that I have kindly "slapped" hard to get them to stop feeling sorry for themselves and just do it. And they've come back and thanked me later. But I only take that really hard stance when necessary.

And my initial post to DynoDad tried to be supportive and validate his feelings. Never got one comment back or acknowledgement from him. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Only people that babied him (or pissed him off) got replies acknowledging their comments. That, in itself, says a lot about what he wants.

I'm sorry -- I feel like dog shit today and am dealing with a child (almost an adult) that is behaving the same way. Griping and complaining about stuff that is trivial in the big scheme of things and refusing to accept into their brain that things could be much worse.

To DynoDad -- I'm sorry if my posts and comments were too tough love and nonsupportive. I try very hard to be supportive of people here, even when I don't necessarily agree with them.

I hope you can find a way to acceptance and peace with this. I really do. Good luck in that journey.

Elle · Post by **Elle** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:44 am

Tough loved should only be used on those under 8 years old.

nanwilson · Post by **nanwilson** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:45 am

Sometimes, tough love, is the only way to deal with someones complaining. Those of you that have raised teenagers will know the tough love thing very well.............they have a choice, deal with the positive or deal with the negative. Some people only deal with the negative and then wonder why everything always goes wrong and why they always get "shit upon". Not only have I dealt with teen agers of my own with tough love, I now have a grandchild living with me thats a teenager . Sometimes tough love is the only answer when that is what they want and need. I tell mine...those are your two choices, you make the decision and live with the consequences.....and don't complain about it when you realize you have made the wrong decision!

Elle · Post by **Elle** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:58 am

Nan, I agree it sometimes works with children. I believe the OP here said he has grown children himself so I think tough love is out of place here. What is required is either acceptance of a vent or tolerance of a crotchety personality if that is what is happening in this case. I think it was a vent. *shrug*

Madalot · Post by **Madalot** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:03 am

nanwilson wrote:Sometimes, tough love, is the only way to deal with someones complaining. Those of you that have raised teenagers will know the tough love thing very well.............they have a choice, deal with the positive or deal with the negative. Some people only deal with the negative and then wonder why everything always goes wrong and why they always get "shit upon". Not only have I dealt with teen agers of my own with tough love, I now have a grandchild living with me thats a teenager . Sometimes tough love is the only answer when that is what they want and need. I tell mine...those are your two choices, you make the decision and live with the consequences.....and don't complain about it when you realize you have made the wrong decision!

Amen. Age is irrelevant when it comes to tough love. I know a 98-year old woman that better get a good dose of it before she kills someone.

Pugsy · Post by **Pugsy** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:10 am

I purposely had chosen not to comment here because OP didn't ask for help. He only wanted to rant and express his feelings about using the machine. He did that quite well and I couldn't help him explain it any better. His "I hate it" was sufficient.
We can't help someone who doesn't want help. No sense in trying and wasting time and energy. Save it for someone who does want it.

Do I hate using the machine? No...so I didn't respond.
I don't love using the machine but I don't hate it either.

Negatives are easy to find and some people prefer to go through life dwelling on negatives. That is their right to do so. Most of us here choose to look for the positives...yes they are harder to find and more work but it is just the way we look at life and this is our right also.
Positive seekers, who try to force (tough love sometimes is perceived this way) or even gently suggest that negative seekers change to become positive seekers, are going to get negative responses.
That is quite apparent here in this thread.

OP hates his cpap machine and the required use. Okay.. let him hate it. He wants to hate it and doesn't want to change to "like it". I see no reason to try to make him "like it". He doesn't want to do anything to change it. He doesn't want to abandon therapy. He just wants to rant about hating it. So be it. He has done that quite well and ended up picking fights and totally ignoring the posts that were supportive of his rant.

Since the only reason for the post was to rant or vent...not for help with a problem (other than attitude which we can't help) I see no reason to offer anything more than a response to this first original question which was basically "does anyone else hate cpap"...

So..I am back to my response .....no, I don't hate cpap. So sorry that you do and there are ways to make things more palatable if you wish to hear about them. If not...hope you feel better getting your rant out of your system. Should you ever want actual help with a problem other than composing a good rant..we are here.
And with that... I am done wasting my time reading a thread which has become a hateful war ground.
I have more productive things to attend to with my time.

Madalot · Post by **Madalot** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:26 am

Pugsy,

Thank you so much for this post. It has made me see that *I* need to look at this thread differently and not waste any more energy on it.

Again...thank you for being a voice of logic and reason.

ems · Post by **ems** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:57 am

SleepingUgly wrote:I don't think the so-called "tough love" dispensed freely on this board is particularly helpful, except perhaps in very tiny doses, after and along with empathy and validation, and only to someone who needs to take action. It doesn't sound like the OP is swallowing in self-pity, and his disdain for CPAP hasn't stopped him from using it effectively. He seemed to merely be voicing his dislike of having to use it. We ALL have felt that way and NO ONE here would opt to sleep with a mask if they could sleep well without one. To argue otherwise seems ridiculous.

I agree... with you and Rocketgirl. Dynodad hates CPAP and he should be allowed to say that here (and not made to feel like s**t) just as the ducks say how much they love it. One hates it... another is a duck - so?

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:41 am

ems wrote:
SleepingUgly wrote:I don't think the so-called "tough love" dispensed freely on this board is particularly helpful, except perhaps in very tiny doses, after and along with empathy and validation, and only to someone who needs to take action. It doesn't sound like the OP is swallowing in self-pity, and his disdain for CPAP hasn't stopped him from using it effectively. He seemed to merely be voicing his dislike of having to use it. We ALL have felt that way and NO ONE here would opt to sleep with a mask if they could sleep well without one. To argue otherwise seems ridiculous.
I agree... with you and Rocketgirl. Dynodad hates CPAP and he should be allowed to say that here (and not made to feel like s**t) just as the ducks say how much they love it. One hates it... another is a duck - so?

And we have the right to put things straight for all the newbies looking for help.
Yes he can stay in denial for as long as he wants, but he wants everybody drowning there with him. Not going to happen.

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