Quantcast

Bookmark and Share

Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post a reply


Enter the code exactly as it appears. All letters are case insensitive, there is no zero.
Smilies
:D :) :( :o :shock: :? 8) :lol: :x :P :oops: :cry: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :wink: :!: :?: :idea: :arrow: :| :mrgreen:
BBCode is ON
[img] is ON
[flash] is OFF
[url] is ON
Smilies are ON
Topic review
   

Expand view Topic review: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Re: Politically Correct Little Red Riding Hood

Post by Vader on Sun Feb 26, 2012 5:30 pm

NightMonkey wrote:Politically Correct Little Red Riding Hood


Now that's pretty dang funny! :lol:

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by chunkyfrog on Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:07 pm

Very funny, Monkey.
Funny thing about OT--it brings out the worst AND the best in us.
'I really don't like me when I get mad.' --with apologies to Bill Bixby as the Hulk.

Politically Correct Little Red Riding Hood

Post by NightMonkey on Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:35 pm

Politically Correct Little Red Riding Hood

There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them.

Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist.

Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed.

One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house.

"But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people who have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages between various people in the woods?"

Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had called the union boss and gotten a special compassionate mission exemption form.

"But mother, aren't you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?"

Red Riding Hood's mother pointed out that it was impossible for womyn to oppress each other, since all womyn were equally oppressed until all womyn were free.

"But mother, then shouldn't you have my brother carry the basket, since he's an oppressor, and should learn what it's like to be oppressed?"

And Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her brother was attending a special rally for animal rights, and besides, this wasn't stereotypical womyn's work, but an empowering deed that would help engender a feeling of community.

"But won't I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she's sick and hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?"

But Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her grandmother wasn't actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any way, although that was not to imply that any of these conditions were inferior to what some people called "health".

Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind the idea of delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.

Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place, but Red Riding Hood knew that this was an irrational fear based on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed that natural predators were in fact intolerable competitors.

Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but Red Riding Hood felt that in a truly classless society all marginalized peoples would be able to "come out" of the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role models.

On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood passed a woodchopper, and wandered off the path, in order to examine some flowers.

She was startled to find herself standing before a Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket.

Red Riding Hood's teacher had warned her never to talk to strangers, but she was confident in taking control of her own budding sexuality, and chose to dialogue with the Wolf.

She replied, "I am taking my Grandmother some healthful snacks in a gesture of solidarity."

The Wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop an alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I would prefer to be on my way."

Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and proceeded towards her Grandmother's house.

But because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house.

He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action affirmative of his nature as a predator.

Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist gender role notions, he put on Grandma's nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and awaited developments.

Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said,

"Grandma, I have brought you some cruelty free snacks to salute you in your role of wise and nurturing matriarch."

The Wolf said softly "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."

Red Riding Hood said, "Goddess! Grandma, what big eyes you have!"

"You forget that I am optically challenged."

"And Grandma, what an enormous, what a fine nose you have."

"Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I didn't give in to such societal pressures, my child."

"And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!"

The Wolf could not take any more of these specist slurs, and, in a reaction appropriate for his accustomed milieu, he leaped out of bed, grabbed Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide that she could see her poor Grandmother cowering in his belly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Red Riding Hood bravely shouted. "You must request my permission before proceeding to a new level of intimacy!"

The Wolf was so startled by this statement that he loosened his grasp on her.

At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage, brandishing an ax.

"Hands off!" cried the woodchopper.

"And what do you think you're doing?" cried Little Red Riding Hood. "If I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of confidence in my own abilities, which would lead to poor self esteem and lower achievement scores on college entrance exams."

"Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered species! This is an FBI sting!" screamed the woodchopper, and when Little Red Riding Hood nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced off her head.

"Thank goodness you got here in time," said the Wolf. "The brat and her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner."

"No, I think I'm the real victim, here," said the woodchopper. "I've been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those protected flowers earlier. And now I'm going to have such a trauma. Do you have any aspirin?"

"Sure," said the Wolf.

"Thanks."

"I feel your pain," said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper on his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said "Do you have any Maalox?"

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by Gazhacks on Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:05 pm

hades161 wrote:I have only 1 more sorta Off Topic question. What the heck are all the wigs about on Judges and what not in your courts. Is that just a TV show thing or do they still wear those long white haired wigs?


They all still wear them in a court of law

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by hades161 on Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:53 pm

I have only 1 more sorta Off Topic question. What the heck are all the wigs about on Judges and what not in your courts. Is that just a TV show thing or do they still wear those long white haired wigs?

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by Gazhacks on Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:50 pm

How the hell am I suppose to know that, I didnt do american history at school, I played football :lol: :lol: :lol: (Thats with a round ball :wink: )
So please kindly put your hair back on friend. (You have to love the banter)

Where were we oh yes politics, I think I will stay on the fence thanks (Long live Margret Thatcher :lol: )

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by deltadave on Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:43 pm

deltadave wrote:
Gazhacks wrote:Sorry I left just after the tea part in boston :lol: :lol: :lol:

Right, the Indian Thing.

That explains why you left this behind:

Image


Gazhacks wrote:A typical response, do I now post pictures of tortured Vietnamese by the americans :evil:

You idiot!

There were no Vietnamese at the Boston Tea Party!

Further, at that point they were "Colonists", and not "Americans" (except for the settlers in Oklahoma, who have always been referred to as "Sooners").

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by hades161 on Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:00 pm

You do have a good point and people here do have a lot of pent up frustration or just are "Grumpy" from the wonderful effects of Sleep issues. At the same time however posts like these can act as a way for people to vent, then read it later and feel the fool for posting in such a manner. I agree not everyone will do this and there are tools available to us to block those people who can't learn to behave on a personal choice level.

I therefore would suggest asking the moderators of the forum to add a check box when creating a post to allow them to BANNER or otherwise highlight the fact that this is Off Topic. Then on the Client side give people the individual choice I.E. a Check box to exclude/filter Off Topic BANNERED items. At their own choice.


I will be moving my comments to the Poll thread about this subject so as to not further Hijack this thread from the main OT topic.

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by Gazhacks on Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:48 am

its not the post but the people, it always brings the worst out in people as we all have our own beliefs on whats right and wrong now my idea of these things is very different to yours as we are educated very different about lots of things during the past.

Lets say that a "Person" came on talking about his cpap problems and was enjoying the forum. Then someone mentions a war and people are reaching for their poison pens so to speak, it brings out the worst in us. You come on this forum to talk about sleep problems, if you want politics you watch the news. A lot of people will bite at a topic even if they think they wont

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by hades161 on Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:20 am

Gazhacks wrote:A typical response, do I now post pictures of tortured Vietnamese by the americans :evil:

Sorry but I would never stoop so low, there are some topics that most sensible people on here dont discuss, WAR, POLITICS and RELIGN and should be banned. We all have our skeletons and this is definatley not the place to air such topics.

I would like to be the first to propose a ban on such topics, there is plenty of other places to discuss such things



Sometimes the OT posts, can be annoying but then again when calm, sitting back, and reading some of them with your morning coffee (or tea for others :) ) it can be mildly entertaining.

I do not endorse the idea of a ban or censorship in anyway, unless it's advertisements.

“The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools.” - Herbert Spencer

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by ems on Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:15 am

deltadave wrote:
islandboy5150 wrote:SO DON'T FUKKIN READ IT DICKHEAD LIBTARDS !!!!!!
Sheesh!


Double Sheesh! Have you tried increasing your pressure?

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by PST on Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:03 am

rocklin wrote:How can you not feel for a man who went through his teenage years with "Boehner" as his last name?

I don't know. Feeling for teenage Boehners can lead to bad publicity and massive expense.

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by Gazhacks on Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:56 am

A typical response, do I now post pictures of tortured Vietnamese by the americans :evil:

Sorry but I would never stoop so low, there are some topics that most sensible people on here dont discuss, WAR, POLITICS and RELIGN and should be banned. We all have our skeletons and this is definatley not the place to air such topics.

I would like to be the first to propose a ban on such topics, there is plenty of other places to discuss such things

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by deltadave on Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:16 am

Gazhacks wrote:Sorry I left just after the tea part in boston :lol: :lol: :lol:

Right, the Indian Thing.

That explains why you left this behind:

Image

Re: Another OT: The fix is in....Boehner cuts a deal?

Post by Gazhacks on Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:07 am

Sorry I left just after the tea part in boston :lol: :lol: :lol:

Top

cron