“Getting Hosed”, Day-4, Taming a Curve?

[Roger...]

In yesterday’s episode I awoke with a bright red nose reflecting off the mirror. This morning I added two red oval footprints on my cheeks from the brick-like pads of the Comfort Curve. What am I going to tell my friends and colleagues, I’ve gone clown? With an insane trend now in motion, I’ve decided if I end up with Blue Hair tomorrow morning I’m calling it quits because it is better to expire from oxygen deprivation than embarrassment.

Last night seemed to start so innocently. I just wanted to learn about the Comfort Curve, but I didn’t see much in the way of instructions on which nasal-pillow element to choose other than a silly cartoons on the outside of the Comfort Curve’s packing bag. Holding the cartoons up to my nose and trying to look down at them didn’t solve much of the mystery, so I picked the medium size thingy and hoped for the best. Fortunately, this turned out to be a nice fit and the first time I tried it on, no leaks. This didn’t seem right. Aren’t we supposed to play with these things for hours before they seal?

Not being sure I should believe what happened, I play out some of the headgear strap and try it again. Aha, now it leaks. Okay we are on the right path. I’ll do something else and see if I can stop the leak. What else is there to tweak? Ah, these side pads look like there moveable, so what the heck. Tweak, click, click, oops, go back.

Now I’ve got a really good leak going here, but daylight is running short so I should consider starting over and stop missing what won’t help. Getting everything back to as-shipped condition gets rid of the leak, so I put it down until it is time to knock-off for the day just in case another urge strikes.

Later, lights out is sounded and the headgear slips easily into place. This is surely and easy mask to adorn. With the mask in place and without pressing the REMStar button to start, I find the machine turned itself on. Heck I only put the mask on and already I’m starting to inflate. Hmmm, did I hit the button and not notice it? Is dementia a side affect of OSA? Nope, it seems the machine is psychic and knows when to turn on. Who knew this thing was alive?

While my inflation continues I slip into the sheets and think this is going to be an easy night. And, it was easy for the first 2-hours, then Murphy came in and began mucking things up. As soon as my maneuver of rolling from my right side to my left is completed, the mask seal blows open and a leak that is near hurricane proportions appears. What’s up with that? I didn’t think I moved anything, but for certain my no-leak warranty must have run out because now I’m trying to quiet this gale and nothing is working.

When you’re tired, nothing works well, so I get up turn off the machine and examine everything. Nothing seems out of place, so I put the gear back on and voila, the machine knows to turn on with a quiet no-leak inflation. Maybe this is a bad dream. I go back to bed and lay on my right side before turning my eyes off. That won’t work, the right side isn’t comfortable, and so very carefully I turn to the left. As soon as the pillow presses against the Comfort Curve’s left pad, the mask shifts slightly and the gust are now fanning the sheets again. Tweak, adjust, move right, left and anything else I can think about, but nothing is working to suppress the leak with the machine on. Now, I don’t know what to think so I hit the kill switch on the machine and just lay there.

Someplace between the cradle and today I discovered that if I turn a light off, I didn’t have to worry it would think I wanted it on and change its mind all on its own. This is how it is with most things in my life, but that is not the case with this machine. While laying there trying to decide if I give up and go back to polishing my nose with the Activa, the machine turns on again. This machine might be psychic, but now it is playing games because it knows I can’t fight back. Pushing the Off button again only buys me a minute of no gusts before the machine is back on.

This is too much. I get up, push the off button and watch the machine carefully. As I stare into its display screen I notice that when I exhaled, the machine must think I’m ready to romp as it cranks up it engines to a quiet hum. With that intelligence, I pull the hose connection so I can deal with the mask. Peaking into the mirror with the mask on, I begin looking at what happens when I press on the left check pad. My reflection shows nothing happens, but if I press lightly on the main nasal pad holder body just a little, it shifts the nasal pad enough to expose the seal. The hard plastic that holds the Comfort Curve nasal pillow is way too stiff to keep the seal from being disrupted by a foam pillow’s soft pressure. This shifting is the source of the leak, but a good solution isn’t obvious in the middle of the night.

Armed with the secret of the shifting seal, I begin to think about what RestedGal said about this mask, but can only remember that she found nylons helped her solve problems. In my state of delusion I can’t figure out how wearing nylons will help me so I plug the hose back in, hold my breath, and lay down again. This time I hang off the edge of the pillow so the mask won’t shift. As soon as I let my breath out, the machine starts and exposes a small leak. A small yank on the headgear drops the leak to almost nothing and I decide I’m going to leave things alone and hope for morning.

From 2-O’clock to 6:30 various variations of the above performance erupt every time I shift sides. When I crawl out from the sheets this morning I’m exhausted and can’t forget the dream where I’m in the Ocean paddling a kayak with mean looking fish swimming around and the girl behind me is standing on the gunnels digging in her pockets for something as we begin to roll to port. It is a good thing the alarm went off, or I would have been fish food by now.

I’m not sure what will happen tonight, but I’m thinking a quick nap will get the brain working before its too late. For sure I need to think carefully before taking another dose of the Comfort Curve.